


Will You Be My Sunshine?

by KaliMaka



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Action, Angst, BA!Chloe, Bi-Marinette, Chloè redemption, Drama, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Pollen is Number One, Sexual Content, Slow Burn-ish, chlonette
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2020-05-28 07:20:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 36,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19389223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaliMaka/pseuds/KaliMaka
Summary: Things are not looking good for Chloe. After Vanisher, Sabrina left her with no signs of coming back, and her hero thinks she's a liar. Her life got twisted upside down and shot sideways ever since she met a massage therapist that wasn't actually a massage therapist. Now she has a little god telling her she's someone special and is going to be Pari's new hero. But work with Ladybug and that mangy cat? Oh no. She's got a better idea.the AU where Chloe says no to Hawkmoth





	1. Chapter 1

_I was not going to listen to a liar._

Chloe could count on one hand the times that she’s been wrong. The first time she was wrong was when she seven years old, believing that her mother loved her and would come back. That was on her, really, for believing in something so foolishly. She could kick herself for how long she held on hope, when it was explicitly clear that it wasn’t going to happen.

She vowed to stop believing in wishful thinking that day. What good was it, if it just left her with nothing?

The second time was thinking that even though her mother didn’t want her, at least her dad did. He loved her, sure, and gave her anything she wanted, but she wasn’t worth his time, if his actions meant anything. He's always been too busy with his job, which she can understand. Being mayor lets him be able to afford anything she wanted. She can concede that she was silly if she thought she could have nice things and her dad’s attention too. That was also on her.

So she stopped believing in the necessity of familial affection. After all, she was just fine without it, thank you very much.

Honestly, those are the only true things that Chloe will acknowledge as her faults. There have been a lot of little things that she could list, but they didn’t leave as big of an impact on her. She blamed the times she was wrong on her naiveté- in thinking she could be loved the same way that wretched Marinette Dupain-Cheng was. With even her clumsy nature, and too eager smile, and two doting parents, she just rubbed Chloe the wrong way. 

But at least Chloe had all the attention. When she walked in a room, people noticed. When she spoke, people listened.And when she would give an order, they were obeyed.

So why is it, that when it truly mattered, no one took her seriously?

She had told Ladybug that the akuma was in Sabrina’s broach. Where else could it possibly be- except the gift that she personally gave?

But then ladybug had the gall to not only, _not_ listen to her, but to also call her a liar? A _liar?_

Chloe could nearly growl in her anger. She watched Ladybug and Cat Noir through her TV monitoring system with narrowed eyes. Their victory over Sabrina's akumatized form was not anything unexpected, if their past victories can be of any indication. At this point, Chloe might even think the two superheroes considered these events like one considers doing homework. Tedious, can be slightly taxing, but nothing that can't be completed with enough grit or bribery. 

The male superhero, while a bit on the indecorous side, in his skin tight leather suit that very vaguely made a reference to a cat with its triangle cut ears and leather belt tail, took off first, heading who knows where. He was alright in his own way, even if he did look like he was about to step into a stripper club for middle age cat ladies. 

Ladybug, the favorite of Paris by far, could be seen still talking to the police. She only said a few words before zipping off with her yo-yo disappearing after a few leaps. 

Chloe almost wishes she was still around, just to see what she would do if Chloe confronted her. She spent countless hours practically worshipping the ground that red polka dotted heroine, and _this_ is the thanks she gets? To be pushed to the side when trying to help?

Her chest felt like it could burst with how tight it was. With a scream she threw the remote across the room. It hit the wall with a muted _thud_ and didn’t even have the decency to break when it hit the ground. The lack of reaction just made Chloe even more mad.

“URGH!” She threw the next things closest to her which was just a brush from her vanity. It had a slightly louder bang but still was unsatisfying. She wanted a crash damnit. She saw a bottle of perfume and took it with no hesitation.

“I was your biggest fan!” _Crash!_

A shoe. “I idolized you!” _Clunk!_

Her mirror. _“_ I looked up to you!” _Crash!_

She kept going, truly inspired now. She threw her sketchbook, her pillows, even tossed over the lounge chair by the balcony windows. Over and over again, she threw anything she could get her hand on, and kicked over anything that could be moved. Again and again- just wanting to hear _something_ louder than her thoughts. Louder than her heart beating. 

Before she knew it, her shoulders were heaving, and her arms were burning- not used to this type of exertion. Her breath came in pants and she collapsed to her knees in her now ruined room. She looked at the ruined curtains, the stained perfumed walls, to the broken glass on the floor surrounded by topped over chairs and miscellaneous items.

It started as a chuckle. Chloe stifled it as quick as she could. But her chest grew tight, fill to the brim with air. When she couldn't help but open her mouth there it was. A laugh. And just like that there was another one. And another, until finally she was just full on dying. 

She laughed so hard she hunched over, clutching her stomach.

“Oh god, it hurts, it _hurts,”_ she looked down to see drops of water. She instinctively reached for her face. When did she start crying?“No, no, no, no...”

She just starts mumbling, trying to wipe the tears before it became too noticeable. She would not waste any tears on that, that, _that_ -

Chloe cried out. Bitter tears now. Frustrated tears. God, how pathetic is she that she can’t even call Ladybug a rude name?

“I thought,” she mumbled, slightly disgusted at feeling the snot coming out her nose. She hurried to wipe _that_ before it dried. “I thought-“ _hiccup_ “God, I...” She tried even more feverishly to stop crying. To not _feel_ goddamnit.

_I thought we were friends._

Lost to her own misery, she didn’t even notice the black butterfly coming in through the walls.

It flittered closer and closer to the hunched figure on the ground. It could feel their call with every thud of their heart, as it ached to be changed. To be given the strength it needs. Without any hesitation, it went into the thing this being loved most- the thing that will keep it attached. That pretty little necklace will do just nicely.

Chloe almost didn’t even notice the change, too consumed in her own misfortunes. It was only when her breathing stopped being erratic and her mind became blank that she noticed that there was something _else_ in her thoughts. She didn't have enough time to start panicking before the answers became clear. 

**“Antibug, I am Hawk Moth. Ladybug has let you down, I want her downfall too. So, shall we defeat Ladybug together?”**

Chloe never thought she would actually hear the infamous voice the others have talked about. No one can ever truly remember what happens when and they get akumatized. They don’t talk about how his voice echoes- so insistent, so sinister, so _loud_. It was all Chloe could do to even recognize what was happening let alone say anything.

She should have been paying attention to how deeply she was feeling. She almost can’t even believe she let herself get so emotional- and _so weak_ \- to let herself be susceptible to such a scandalous thing as being another one of Hawk Moth’s play things.

“You want me to defeat Ladybug?”

Hawk Moth blinked. Did he hear that right? Did someone just ask him a question? He narrowed his eyes, and put a little more concentration in the butterfly.

**“Her words cut you deeply. Let me offer a way to heal those bitter wounds. Give me Ladybug's earrings and Cat Noir's ring and you can all that you desire.”**

It was so tempting. Give in and finally have the attention she deserves. The kind that lasts, the kind that’s unconditional. But...

No other akumatized person has ever gotten Ladybug and Cat Noir’s miraculous’s. That’s what made Chloe follow her so faithfully. Because Ladybug was many great things but first of all she was _strong,_ and she was loved by all of Paris.

Even if Chloe somehow managed to get the earrings and ring, she would be hated by all. She wanted attention, but even she knew when to draw the line on how to get it. And basically being the reason why Paris fell to the hands of an evil, powerful, super villain was one of them.

And if she couldn’t even call Ladybug a rude name, how could she ever hurt her? Lay a hand on her?

Take away the one thing that made her... _her?_

She gritted her teeth, and tried to fight through the fog in her head. His prolonged presence was starting to hurt. “Thanks, but no thanks. I’m better off without you.”

Hawk Moth snarled. How dare this stupid little girl try and resist his gift?!

**“You silly girl! You think you have a choice?! You WILL listen to me, and you WILL obey!”**

Okay, now she definitely has a headache.

It was so odd to her- to see everything around her, but for it to be out of focus whenever he started to speak. “Urgh! Will you shut up!” She tried to stand up, gripping the edge of her pink lounge futon. “You’re too damn loud!”

**“Do you not know what I am! I am Hawk Moth and you WILL be my champion!”**

Chloe could feel beads of sweat dampening her brow. Her mind felt supremely heavy, and she’s just about had enough of these intense emotions for one day. “NO. It is YOU who doesn’t understand who _I_ am.”

Making it to her feet, she tried to imagine pushing him out of her mind.

“I am Chloe Bourgeois and _I WILL bow down to no one!”_

There was a scream.

Then there was silence.

Hawk Moth gaped in outraged disbelief. How could this vain teenager- the one that has caused, quite arguably, the most akumas- refuse _him?_ How was this even possible?

He watched, almost unable to process it, as the black butterfly that inhabited the bitch’s necklace be released. Forcibly pushed out, it was thrown quite a few feet away. It fluttered around in a daze, and Hawk Moth silently seethed as he saw the stupid mayor’s daughter finally notice it.

All of a sudden her head felt light and she almost fell down again, so quick was the transition. She grasped the futon with a white knuckled grip. She will _not_ fall again.

_Ha!_ She almost smirked, balancing precariously against the lounge chair. _Take that you fucking insect! Her, become a mindless lackey? Puh-lease._ Despite her exhaustion, she felt excited. Her adrenaline was up for sure, as she was itching to face on anything. _Let anyone try and test my will again! I dare them_!

It was only when she was pushing her hair that had fallen out of her ponytail that she saw the butterfly people have grown to fear.

Still black, and still ugly, it swayed in the air. Almost like a real butterfly that had gotten its wings wet or clipped.

_Crap!_ Chloe thought. _Ladybug is gonna need to purify that before someone else gets akumatized!_

She looked around frantically, trying to see if there was anything to contain it. But with her room in such a disarray, she couldn’t see anything. The butterfly started to gain momentum and she could see it heading for the balcony windows.

_Shit!_

Without properly stopping to think, she started towards it- hand outstretched.

“AH!” She cried out. Gripping her wrist with her left hand, she fell to her knees. “Fuck!”

Wow, okay, so it looks like her dedication to not fall down lasted, like, two fucking minutes. If she wasn’t in so much pain she would have laughed.

God, it felt like it was on fire- the burning, tingling sensation going through her whole arm right now, starting from her palm. It throbbed and pulsed, sending giant pangs of pain through her.

“FUCK FUCK FUCK-“

It’s a good thing her dad wasn’t here now, as she’s not sure how much he would appreciate her non-ladylike words. Probably cost him a vote or two in the next election.

Tears of pain this time gathered with every blink of her eyes. She tried to breathe as it felt like she couldn’t think of anything past the feeling of being burned alive. Felt like her skin was about to fall off. 

_Breathe..._ 1... 2...3... 4... 5...

_Hold..._ 1...

_Out..._ 1... 2... 3... 4...

_Repeat as necessary._

She’s not sure how long she practiced the breathing pattern but slowly she could open her eyes without tearing up and even start to feel something other than throbbing. She may have black out a bit here and there. It would explain the extremely uncomfortable way she's leaning against the back of the couch right now. She glanced at the windows.

God, when did it get so dark? Yeah she totally passed out from the pain. Fuck, now she definitely didn’t want to look at the clock. Her room's lights were still on and she squinted against the harsh light. She should really turn those off soon. 

She tried to relax her arm, and winced when it sent more pangs through it.

“Okay, Chloe, you can do this.” She breathed once again through her nose. “You can get up. You _will_ get up. And you will stay up, motherfucker.”

So she did. Slowly, but soon she was standing in the wreckage of her room, holding her forearm as if she didn’t know what to do with it.

Looking down at her hand, she was in slight shock. In the middle of her palm, clear as day, the imprint of the butterfly she had just expelled from her could be seen.

The deepest of blacks she’s ever seen, it was slightly raised on her skin, thin lines of web-like black veins running throughout its shape. The longer she stared at it the more she was convinced that it was slightly pulsing and almost _moving_ across her skin.

Well, it looks like Ladybug will _not_ be curing that.

Chloe could almost face palm herself for being so _stupid_ as to try and catch the butterfly with her own bare hands. Like, _what the fuck, Chloe?Did you think that a butterfly that can be absorbed into objects_ wouldn’t _go into your hand?_

She blinked, suddenly wide eyed. Holy shit, there’s a fucking akuma in her hand.

There’s an _akuma in her hand!_

She started pacing, running her uninhabited hand through her hair, pulling out the ponytail completely. It was beyond repair anyway.

“Oh god, oh god, this is bad,” She was really starting to panic now. “This is really _really_ bad, holy shit, there’s something _living_ in my hand! Wait, is it even a living thing? What the fuck even is it?! _What the fuck is in my hand!!_ ”

She started to fan herself, taking quick breaths. It was getting way too hot in here. Breathy chuckles started to escape her and she was terrified of what that meant.

“Okay, Chloe, think,” She closed her eyes and counted to ten. “Okay, this is fine. This is okay. Let’s think about this calmly.”

She tried not to glance at her right hand. “Oh god, oh god, what am I gonna do-“ She slapped her self. “No! You will be okay!” She breathed again. Trying almost in vain to regain her breath when all she wanted to do was laugh hysterically.

“Alright, let’s list the events.”

Almost methodically, if a bit jerkily, she started to right the chairs and tables she knocked over such and such hours ago. She tried not to think about how it didn’t really feel that long ago at all, but the night sky outside tells a different story.

It was near afternoon when Ladybug called her a liar, and sunset usually doesn’t happen until seven. Which means she nearly took an hour to completely destroy her room, and at least two more crying being a sorry little bitch, and then another dealing with Hawk Moth, and then maybe about three dealing with the excruciating pain that came from being a fucking dumbass.

Chloe sighed, feeling her chest tighten up. Maybe she should stop thinking so negatively about herself.

Kind of hard to do, though, when every time she felt the throbbing in her hand she was reminded of what led her to this point.

By the time Chloe finished righting everything, her mind was almost blank. She hadn’t used her hand since the butterfly appeared, but it was surprisingly easy to fix everything as much as she could with one hand. She’ll leave the cleaning of the glass and small debris on the floor to the cleaners.

She’s reluctant to try and use her hand right now, thus using the broom was _so_ out of the question.

With weary bones, she went to go sit on her bed. She had turned off all the lights, and didn't even bother trying to get out of her clothes. Sure, she at least took her signature yellow jacket off, but trying to attempt taking off her white skinny jeans would just be a disaster. 

Despite the slight discomfort for wearing jeans to bed at least she was finally in her bed. Even if she was wide awake. And internally panicking. And absolutely dreading what happens next. 

Chloe glanced one last time at the butterfly on her hand before turning off the lights.

The third time Chloe was wrong was when she thought she meant something to her hero. She thought that every time she was being saved it was because Ladybug _wanted_ to save her-not felt obligated to.

All this time she had just wanted to be worth something to someone. Whether that was someone worth knowing, or someone worth saving, she didn't care. 

But it looks like she's not really worth much of anything at all.


	2. Chapter 2

Being a politician is a very stressful job. And if Andre Bourgeois knew he was going to end up basically being the sole parent in charge of a teenage girl he would have entertained a different profession. Something a little less time consuming. Because, honestly, he doesn’t understand how being a parent is just as stressful, if not more so, as dealing with difficult foreign dignitaries that don’t want to cooperate with state and city law.

He stared at his daughter, clearly exhausted herself. Her eyes were dark, and she hadn’t even bothered to fix herself up this morning before rushing to him on his way out.

As he looked at her wrinkled clothes, he makes a mental note to talk to her about presentation. But for now, he’ll deal with the matter at hand.

After all, they were on their private floor. The likelihood of one of foreign dignitaries or high profile customers seeing her was extremely low, so he’ll save that conversation for later.

“-the nerve of that so called hero to say I’m a liar,” Chloe continued to rant, as she has been for the past minute or so. Andre glanced at his watch, debating how much more time he could afford to entertain his daughter. Probably only a few more minutes before he should be making his way out of the hotel to the office.

“-really compromised my mental state, and therefore I need a day of rest.” Chloe finished, her arms crossed.

Andre blinked. Did she finish? “Sounds like a wonderful idea, Chloe.” He pulled out his phone, already trying to remember the name of that salon she liked. “Would you like me to make an appointment for you at that spa you liked?”

Chloe sniffed, looking away, arms still crossed. Oh no.

“Daddy! Were you even listening? I’m not feeling well, and would like to just stay home.” She huffed, eyes slightly narrowed.

Andre backtracked quickly. “I’m so sorry, honey, there’s just a lot on my mind with my upcoming meeting.” He glanced again at his watch. Still have some time. “Here, I’ll make a doctor’s appointment instead, and hopefully you’ll feel better afterwards.” He braced himself. “But honey, you still need to make an effort to go to school.”

Chloe’s eyes bulged, and she immediately turned towards him. “What?! Absolutely not!” She continued on, something about the ridiculous nature of his request, and he sighed internally. Ah, the joys of being a parent.

“Honey, HONEY,” He reiterated when she didn’t listen and continued to rant. Finally she stopped, putting her (curiously) gloved hands on her waist, waiting. “Thank you. As I was saying, you need to at least go to your afternoon classes. You already missed classes four times for the past two weeks.”

“Those were for akuma attacks!” She cried, outraged. “I needed time to destress and reorient myself from being a literal target of these monsters!”

He sighed, this time out loud, trying to make his way around his daughter to the elevators. He pulled out his phone. “This is my final decision. I will make you a doctor’s appointment for 9 o’clock this morning, and you will attend the afternoon classes.” He’s already putting in the numbers to call the doctor’s office.

Chloe follows him to the elevator, glaring all the way. “Daddy! I don’t believe that is entirely necessary I-“

“Then I guess you’re not really sick, hmm?” He cuts her off, eye ticking. Chloe blinks at him, stopped in her tracks.

“Daddy?” He winces at her wide eyes that start to look a little misty. He glances really quick at his watch. Okay, still good.

Andre looked at his only child, trying to gauge her physical status. Despite looking absolutely dreadful, he couldn’t help but feel a bit bad when she didn’t immediately get it. The show must go on.

“Look, honey, I know you don’t feel well, but if you don’t want to go to the doctor, then you are well enough to go to school. I’m not budging.” He held his phone, showing her the phone number to their private doctor already pulled up. “Now do I need to make a call or not?”

She sighed, rubbing her arms while looking down at the ground. He’ll have to talk to her about that habit as well. God, there’s a lot of things he needs to say, if only he had the time. “Yes, please.”

Andre nodded, satisfied with her manners. He pressed the call button, putting the phone up to his ear to hear the beginnings of the dial tone. He checked the time. One more minute. He pressed the down button for the elevator before turning to his baby girl.

She still had her head down, and he smiled softly. Putting his hand on her shoulder, he waited until she looked up at him. “Please, Chloe, just go to afternoon classes after your doctor’s appointment, and I’ll make sure you have a spa day as well.” She smiled weakly and he squeezed in appreciation.

The elevator dinged just as he hears a faint, “Dr. Conard’s office, how may I help you,” through the phone. Finally.

He pulled back, stepping quickly in the elevator. Chloe didn’t go with him as expected. Can’t go anywhere looking like that. “Okay, Daddy.”

He smiled, blowing her a kiss as the doors closed. He held the phone slightly away so the respected individual doesn’t hear him. “That’s my girl. See you soon.” Chloe made a smile, waving a bit as the doors finally closed.

It didn’t take long to get to the lobby, nor did it take long to finish speaking with the doctor’s secretary before he was making his way out to his secure vehicle of the day. His assistant was already there, waiting for him and immediately began reciting his schedule.

He sighed, this time in relief. He knew this drill. It was always nice to have extra help organizing each day and making sure things stayed on track.

Hmm... Maybe he should get an assistant to help with Chloe. 

Meanwhile, Chloe breathed in a sigh of relief as well. That went over pretty well actually. She expected a little more pushback. At least, now she only has to worry about afternoon classes.

Oh, and letting him know she’s gonna need more furniture. She winced. That may not go over as well.

She looked down at herself as she made her way back to her room. She winced again. Oh god, she’s gonna hear about this later. How could she even see her father in this?

She was so rushed this morning, trying to catch her father before he made it downstairs that she just hurried put on the first clothes she found. Which just so happened to be the same clothes as yesterday. Oh god. These gloves clash so horribly even that plaid wearing Alya girl would notice.

It also didn’t help that she nearly had another heart attack when she saw her hand this morning either. That set her back nearly twenty minutes as did the breathing practice she had to perform just to calm down. It took everything to even put the gloves on to hide the large black mark on her hand.

Chloe shook her head. _No, Focus. Focus. You can do this_. Time to be positive for once.

She has about two hours before she needs to be at the doctor’s office and come up with a decent excuse for her being there in that time. She needs to be prepared.

And there goes the positivity.

Shutting the door behind her, the sound only seeming to intensify the time limit she was under. _Oh god, how do I even begin to explain this?_ She ran her hand through her hair, and tried to change her spiraling train of thought.

It took a solid hour, as she debated within herself back and forth on what to do, but she finally settled on just going with her usual outfit and just wear white gloves with it.

She doubts anyone would even notice, nor did she anticipate them commenting on the new accessory.

The final hour was spent fixing her hair and make up. No way she was going out looking like a mess that she woke up in. It was kind of hard to do, due to everything still being sprawled across her room. Not to mention her broken mirror.

She made a mental note to talk to her personal butler about getting her room tidied up again. It was honestly making her more stressed to not have things in place. It’s almost hard to believe that she was the one that trashed the place.

With one last touch up, Chloe took a deep breath in. Grabbed her purse. Set her shoulders back. Let out her breath slowly. With a nod to her cracked image, she gathered her things and started her day.

_You fought back Hawkmoth. You can talk to a doctor._

But despite her little pep talk the moment she left her room, she couldn’t help but feel claustrophobic. Just the idea of talking to their family doctor got her on edge. Even though they’ve had Dr. Conrad employed under them since she was a little girl, so he’s been relatively close to the family.

If she tells him, then he’ll probably tell his father about the akuma thing in her hand. And she doesn’t know what he would do, but she can’t imagine it’d be supportive. It’d probably be isolation and shipping her off somewhere so she isn’t seen by anyone important.

_Urgh, no, Chloe, that’s being way too dramatic._ But the thought, the fear, was there and she’s not sure if it’d ever go away. He’s done worse for far less.

When she actually got in the elevator that feeling only got worse. Her hand started to throb. She tried to not pay it any attention but it was difficult not to.

She didn’t even wait for the doors to completely open before she rushed out, hurrying to get to open air. Strangers mulled about in the lobby, doing mundane things she couldn’t bother to notice.

It’s only when she spotted Jean that she felt any sort of relief. At least she can deal with one issue quickly.

“I’ll have the matter dealt with right away, Mademoiselle.” He said, with a slight bow after she notified him of the situation concerning her room. She nodded at him before continuing on her way to the car waiting for her. She needed to get out.

The black limo was a bit much at the moment, and Chloe didn’t even let the driver holding her door open a chance to greet her. “To Dr. Conard’s office at once.” She paused. “Please.”

She barely saw the nod of the driver before ducking her head in the door. Taking a moment to breathe as the door closed behind her, she braced herself for this upcoming visit.

She had argued with herself for the whole time getting ready whether or not she should tell their doctor the truth about her hand or if she just make up an illness. Talk about her cramps or something.

However, she acknowledged that it might be advantageous to have a professional opinion on this. Might even get a doctor’s note out of it to excuse her from those insipid physical exercises at school.

The drive to the office wasn’t noteworthy, and Chloe almost told the driver to go back to the Hotel when he pulled into the parking lot of private clinic.

But he was waiting expectantly for her, so she just squared her shoulders and gave the driver a parting. “Please wait around the corner until I’m finished. This shouldn’t take too long.”

And with that, she was out and in three minutes from there she was in the office, with Dr. Conrad already waiting for her. Dressed in the common blue scrubs and white coat, she would have thought that owning his own practice would allow him more freedom to wear what he wants.

She sighed, putting her purse down on the chair, before hoping on the always ugly exam table. _Why are they always so ugly?_

“Good Morning, Ms. Bourgeois.” Dr. Conrad greeting her with an easy smile. His greying hair shined a bit under the lights, but his eyes were bright as ever. “I hear we’re not feeling well today.” _If only you knew the half of it._

She rolled her eyes. “That’s an understatement.” She crossed her arms, as well as her legs. “Look, Dr. Conrad, I’m-“

He put his hand up, the ever present clipboard in the other. “I’m gonna stop you right there,” He appraised her again, looking at her with too knowing eyes.

She tensed. She hates it when he does that.

“Let me take a wild guess.” He put his clipboard on the computer desk, leaning up against it afterwards with his hands clasped in front of him. “You’re not really sick, are you?”

Chloe huffed, already done with this whole interaction. “Look, I came here to get a check up out of respect for my father, I do not appreciate this attack on my intentions nor my state of being.”

Dr. Conrad laughed, and Chloe swears that if he wasn’t the best at what he does she would have left long ago.“Alright, Ms. Bourgeous my apologies, but you didn’t answer my question.”

Chloe sniffed. “You call that a question? That was clearly an expression of antagonism.” He waited, looking at her with a patient look. _Urgh_. “Okay, fine, I’m not really sick, -but I DO,”She added on quickly when he started to chuckle. “I do, have a problem that I need your help with.”

He looked mildly concerned now. “And what is that, Ms. Bourgeous?”

She sighed, uncrossing her arms and picking at her gloves. “I’ll tell you as long as you promise that you will speak of this to no one- not even my father.” 

Now he looked even more concerned, if not a bit tired. “Chloe, we’ve been over this. Your father is obligated to know if you have suic-“

Chloe hurried to shush him. “NO, NO, this isn’t about... _that._ ” She laughed a bit shakily, feeling a bit lightheaded now. “Besides, you’re not even my therapist, stop bringing that up.” He merely waited again for her to continue.

She sighed, uncrossing her legs and looked at the ground. She almost forgot about that incident. “I’m sorry, Chloe, please continue. What were you trying to say?”

Chloe looks up at him, for once seeing the man that’s been their family doctor since she was skidding her knees on bicycles. How could she even think about having a different doctor?

Without a second thought she just blurts, “I’m possessed by an akuma.”

Dr. Conrad blinks. “Excuse me?” He blinks again. “Is that a new drug kids are doing these days?” _Okay, abort, abort- back track!_

Chloe crossed her legs, and put her hands on her lap, trying to remain slightly calm. “Look, you know about the situation with Hawkmoth and these weird monsters that keep coming around?”

He nodded at her, crossing his arms, clearly giving her all of his attention. “Yes, they’re all over the news these days.”

“Yeah, well,” She made a noncommittal gesture. “Whenever a new akuma appears it’s because Hawkmoth personally targeted them, possessing them by touching them with his evil butterflies.”

Mr. Conrad nodded along. “Alright, I’m following you. I didn’t realize it was in such a manner, but I knew that he operated remotely.”

Chloe sighed. “Okay, good, so,” She hated herself for it, but she started to wring her hands. _Should I? What if he doesn’t believe her? Or worse, what if he DOES and wants to do something about it? What if-_

She felt a hand on her shoulder, drawing her from her thoughts. She looked up, mildly curious to know what it was with adults and shoulders.

“Chloe, whatever it is, if it’s affecting your health, you can tell me.” He looked at her again. “And know that I’m legally bound to not share any information regarding this visit to others.”

She scoffed, though there was little bite behind it. “Except my parents, that is.”She rubbed her arms, as if it was cold and needed to warm up.

Mr. Conrad chuckled bit. “If it’s not life threatening, we can keep it between us.” He smiled at her, squeeze her shoulder lightly before returning back to the table. “Now, would you like to explain why you brought up Hawkmoth and akumas?”

She looked away, and straightened up once more when she felt herself hunching a bit. _What to do what to do..._

Finally, after a moment, she sighed. “Sorry, I feel ridiculous, but I’ve just been extremely stressed with these akumas running around, especially when they’re after _me.”_ She made a shrug. “I just can’t get any sleep and I fear it’s affecting my mental wellbeing.”

He looked at her a bit too long, and she feared he wouldn’t buy it. However, just when she though he’d call her out he just smiled a bit. “Alright, Chloe, we can get you help with that.”

The rest of the time was filled in relative quiet as he went out and got her some melatonin to help with her sleep. Talked about the restrictions surrounding taking them and sent her on her way shortly after. Just as she was about to head out though, he stopped her.

“Wait, Chloe, one last thing.” He pulled out his wallet and started shifting through it. “Where is it, where- there it is!” He proudly pulled out a business card and handed it over.

Chloe turned it over in her hands.

**The Ancient Touch**

**_Master Fu’s Massage Shop_ **

She stared at it. It was a plain business card, with just the two lines of info, and Chinese inspired art surrounding the edges. She looked up at Mr. Conrad who only seemed to be pleased with himself.

“You should try going to see Master Fu. My daughter absolutely loves him and claims he’s the best in the city.” He goes on to say, putting his hands in his coat pockets.

“Your daughter?” She couldn’t help but ask, turning the card over in her hand. Literally it was only one sided, with a tiny address on the back that was so small she had to squint. What was the purpose of that?

Mr. Conrad nodded, almost too fast. “Yeah, she’s just about to graduate from collège. She’s on track to be a doctor as well.” He looked off in the distance, with his chest a bit out. He was obviously extremely proud of his daughter and Chloe could feel her hand throbbing again.

She wanted to go. “She sounds lovely.” She grabbed her purse strap tighter.

He nodded, a bit oblivious. She guesses that what love does to you. “She really is. I’m sure if you two ever met you would get along. She’s a bit of a firecracker like you.” He laughed, patting Chloe on the shoulder again. “Never backing down and can’t slow down, it’s hard to imagine her going off on her own here soon.” He trails off, looking wistful now.

Okay, now it really was time to go. “I’m sure we’ll meet one day, but I really must be going.” She nodded towards a random direction. “My father wants me to make it to afternoon classes.”

“Oh! Of course, please, go ahead,” He nodded, gesturing for her to take the lead out the door. “You should really check out Master Fu, or at least another massage therapist to help out with your stress levels. If the Melatonin doesn’t help, we can figure out another solution.”

Chloe nods, walking possibly a bit too fast. “I will let you know, and I’ll check out this place as well. Have a nice day, Mr. Conrad.”

With that they parted ways and Chloe met up with her driver who was dutifully waiting for her around the corner like she asked. She checked the time. Only a little under an hour before afternoon classes start. She groaned, already feeling the hunger panes coming along.

She had hoped to grab something before she needed to be at school, but it seems that won’t be possible. She definitely won’t make it in time for the school’s extremely undesirable lunch.

Looking around in the limo, she see’s the snack bar. Not really nutritional, but it’ll have to do.

“Please head to Françoise Dupont.” She calls to the driver before beginning to eat the m&ms and mineral water.

“As you wish, Ms. Bourgeois.” He checked to see if they were clear and soon they were off.

It shouldn’t be a long trip to the school, but Chloe estimated another 15-20 minutes of drive time left.

Taking two bites out of the peanut butter granola bar available before putting it in the waste bin, she sat back in her seat and closed her eyes. She’s gonna need all this time to recenter herself. She’s not sure how she’s going to handle dealing with her classmates so soon after gaining a new addition to her body.

A morbid curiosity overcame her. Peaking a bit at her right hand glove, she slowly took it off she see it now that it’s not completely on fire.

Starting from the middle of her palm, a distorted image of a butterfly covered almost her whole palm. The tips of the butterfly’s wings just barely started to wrap around her hand, with the tips of the antenna touching the proximal crease on her fingers.

The butterfly itself was extremely black, though it seemed to almost glint purple in the light. Just as she thought last time, it was raised against her skin and had countless little veins running across it in a web-like pattern.

But this time, she didn’t notice it pulsing like last night. Perhaps that was just in her head due to the amount of pain she was in.

She flexed her hand, watching in slight fascination how it didn’t hinder her much. Made it a bit stiff to move, but it wasn’t anything that wouldn’t already happen if she had been writing for too long.

Feeling embolden by this discovery, she poked at it with her left hand. Curiously she couldn’t feel it. Hmm...

Closing her eyes she wrapped her left hand lightly around her right wrist. Okay, so she could feel that. Slowly she started to move her hand across the butterfly.

Nothing.

Closing her eyes tighter, she pressed harder against it. Enough so that she could feel the discomfort of the force on her left hand. Still nothing.

Chloe opened her eyes, wide now. She can’t feel her hand. She can’t _feel._ Her. HAND.

“AHH-“

“Ms. Bourgeois?”

Chloe choked on air, reaching out quickly for the mineral water. But the carbonation just made her cough more. So much so that the driver was getting concerned.

“Ms. Bourgeois, are you okay?” He looked ready to get out and come to her door given the signal.

She held up a hand, still hunched over as she slowly tried not to die. “I’m- _cough_ okay,” She coughed some more, trying to get the water out of her lungs. “Just give- _cough,”_ rushing trying to get the last words out “measecondplease _cough!”_

He nodded, settling a bit back more in his seat. He waited a few more seconds as she calmed down as well before notifying her that they were at the school.

“Wonderful.” She gritted out. She took out the natural water from the minibar and tried a small sip of that to help settle her insides. Once she felt it helping she placed it back, trying to hurry this thing along.

With a few calming breaths that weren’t filled with liquid, she put on her gloves, gathered her purse, and got out of the car.

Thankfully no one was really wandering about at the front gates due to the time. Some passerby’s but none that she had any interest in.

She bid the driver a good day and headed towards her locker. She needed to make sure she was prepared for the second round of class.

After gathering her books, she went to the restrooms to make sure she was still presentable. That coughing fit made her feel a bit disoriented. She needed to make sure everything was still good to go.

Yes. Everything was still in place. Hair pulled perfectly back in a ponytail. Makeup still okay, though she wished she didn’t have to use so much foundation to cover the bags underneath her eyes. Her clothes were just the slightest bit wrinkled though she was positive none of these plebs would know the difference.

With a quick nod, she stuck her right hand in her pocket. She couldn’t bare to look at it right now, nor could she possibly handle the idea of doing anything more with it knowing she won’t be able to feel it.

She was extremely tempted to just walk out right now but she knew she couldn’t do that. With a determined step and her head held high she walked out the bathroom. This show must go on.

It wasn’t until she walked into class that she realized she forgot one major thing.

Sabrina.

Their usual seat bench was empty and when Chloe looked further back in the class she saw her sitting next to Nathaniel. Everyone was already seated, so Chloe tried not to stare too long before moving on to her seat.

_It’s okay. You can talk to her later and fix this._

She ignored the eyes of her lackluster classmates. She didn’t want to see their looks or small smirks. She sat primly at her seat, mildly checking to make sure there was nothing on it.

While the majority of students were in fact looking at Chloe as she came in late to class, only one really noticed the change in Chloe.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was notoriously known for being late. Waking up later, losing track of time designing, getting caught in traffic, the reasons (or excuses) were endless but none are necessarily the truth.

For no one knows that Marinette was actually the famous superhero Ladybug, and she knew exactly why Chloe had just a bit more makeup on today than usual. Late nights can be fun, but not when you have to wake up early the next morning.

Marinette’s not sure why Chloe would not have gotten enough sleep last night but she suspected it had to do with the recent akuma attack involving Sabrina. She almost felt bad that the two had a falling out, but she wasn’t particularly surprised. Chloe always did have a bad attitude. It’s hard to believe sometimes that the two were friends as long as they were.

A chuckle could be heard in front of her and Marinette turned to see Adrien smiling at something Nino said. She smiled too, leaning her head on her hand. Marinette didn’t think of Chloe again for the rest of class, except to wonder idly about the gloves she was wearing.

The teacher soon walked in and officially started class. Chloe nearly cursed herself again when she realized they had a quiz. _What the fuck is going on with her luck today?_

She took a passing glance at her hand. Chloe’s getting a feeling that this won’t be the last bad luck spree she’s going to experience.

By the time school was over Chloe just about had it. She had finished the quiz using her left hand and was literally the last person to turn it in, much to the amusement of the others who she could hear softly snickering behind her. She had gritted her teeth and glared at the sheet of paper as if it was it’s fault she wasn’t ambidextrous but eventually the day was over and she could move on.

Now she just needed to talk to Sabrina and maybe something good would happen to her today.

She put her books back in her locker and started looking around the foyer for Sabrina. Seeing her at the entrance by the stairs, she hurried to make her way over to her.

But just as she was getting close, someone else came into the picture.

Chloe narrowed her eyes and stopped, moving a bit to the side so the newcomers couldn’t see her right away.

She crossed her arms as she witnesses this peculiar scene. _What was that plaid-wearing insect-loving Césaire doing talking to Sabrina?_ Chloe couldn’t help but growl a little bit. She needed to talk to Sabrina but she didn’t want to do it with that overbearing girl over her shoulder.

And just when she thinks she’ll leave, Marinette _fucking_ Dupain-Cheng comes into the mix.

Chloe finally admits it. She must be cursed. What is up with all these insane, extremely unfortunate events happening to her so quick? It’s completely unfair and Chloe is officially convinced the world is out to get her.

Chloe watches as the three converse for a few minutes before moving out of sight. She walked towards them again, hoping Sabrina was waiting around the corner of the building while the other two went ahead.

Alas, that wasn’t the case. She made it to the main entrance, standing a bit off centerat the top of the stairs leading to the sidewalk. The perfect spot to see her friend (ex-friend? She could feel her hand throbbing again) walk off with Ayla and Marinette towards the Dupain-Cheng’s bakery.

She narrowed her eyes, and almost willed one of them to look back at her to see how much of a mistake they were making.

But she looked a bit closer at Sabrina. She was smiling at them. She could even swore she saw her laugh at one of that Césaire girl’s tasteless jokes. When was the last time Sabrina laughed at one of Chloe’s jokes?

Chloe looked away before she could think any further. _Enough_. If Sabrina wants to hang out with those losers then good for her.

Eating subpar pastries, why don’t they just frolic off a cliff, for all she cares. Chloe was fine before she met Sabrina, she’ll be fine without.

She clenched her fists, still mad- still slightly upset. It apparently didn’t take long for Sabrina to make the decision that Chloe wasn’t worth the effort to try and make things right between them.

She scoffed, walking away quickly. She spotted her driver not too far off and hurried to get inside the vehicle, sending a quick thank you to the driver for holding the door open for her. At least some things were always dependable.

She waited until he got back in his seat before handing him the business card she was given earlier. “Take me there at once.”

With that she settled back in her seat and watched as the buildings rolled by trying to collect her thoughts. Or rather, trying not to think about anything.

When they arrived at the destination Chloe was a little dubious. While it wasn’t shabby, it wasn’t extremely luxurious either, which is what she was used to. However, she figured that it wouldn’t hurt to try a new place out for the possibility of it being a decent experience. She could always say that she tried if Mr. Conrad asked about it later.

With that she bid her driver goodbye, letting him know she’ll call him when she’s done.

Once again getting her purse, a thing she’s getting just a bit annoyed with today. It’s a bit annoying having to cart this thing around all the time without anyone to hold it.

A bell chimed as she walked in and Chloe was slightly pleased with the decently large open floor plan going on. There was a mattress topper- like thing on the ground, which she assumed would be this Master Fu’s “table”.

There was glass doors on one side of the room that allowed a decent amount of light to come in, making the room light and airy. She actually really liked the bamboo storage as well as the plants on either side of the glass doors.

Overall it was very quaint and she kind of liked the style.

She didn’t have to wait long at all before a small old man came around one of the bamboo dividers that were around the room. He wore a Hawaiian printed shirt and khaki’s and Chloe almost wanted to walk out right then.

But then he smiled at her. “Hello, miss. How are you?” His hands were clasped behind his back and he looked like the most nonthreatening thing she ever saw. He tilted his head slightly to the side, looking a bit closer at her it seemed. “Not well, hmm?”

She blinked at him. “I could be doing better.” She conceded, a bit on edge that he said it so casually. “I would like a massage.” She blinked again at his soft smile. “Please, if you don’t mind.”

God, what was she even saying? He runs a massage shop, why would he mind any sort of business? He should be happy that she’s even here.

He smiled a bit wider now. “Of course, Miss.” He gestured towards the futon in the middle of the room. “Please, get comfortable. I’ll be back in a moment.”

“Wait a moment,” She called out to him, willing herself not to hunch even slightly when he stopped to look back at her. “I would like to make sure that this place has strict confidentiality clauses.”

This time he blinked but he smiled all the same. “Of course, Miss. I was just about to gather the paperwork. I will be back in just a moment.”

With that he took off and Chloe was a bit dumbfounded. Alright so that was some decent news. Kind of got ahead of herself there but she just needed to make sure.

_Stop being paranoid_. He’s just like any other massage therapist. Just because he’s not one of her regulars doesn’t mean he’s not someone else’s regular and Mr. Conrad wouldn’t have recommended him if he wasn’t good and had a good reputation. Chloe was being just a little ridiculous right now.

She sat down on the futon but she didn’t want to do anything until the paperwork was signed.

He came back not a moment too soon and gave her a clipboard with the information concerning his packages, rates, and finally the privacy clause.

Alright, good, everything is the same as she was used to at her other spa. Just with a different technique. However the more she thinks about it, the more she wants just one thing to be taken care of.

She sets the clipboard down, looking at the old man. “Alright, I know this is going to sound a bit odd but I need you to sign the privacy clause now before we continue.”

He’s a bit confused now. “Miss? I’m-“

She holds up a hand, imploring him to stop. “Look, I understand that it’s an odd request, but I don’t know if you can help me, but in order to know this I need tell you the circumstances leading to me needing your help, thus forcing my hand in asking for you utmost cooperation with my privacy. If you do this, and can help me, I’ll pay you twice your rate.” She breathed, gripping tightly to the clipboard. “Now, do we have a deal?”

He stared at her, obviously taken aback by her request. Slowly he nodded, before smiling as he did when he first saw her. “Of course, but there’s no need for the extra charge. I’ll be happy to sign the clause.”

He reached for the clipboard and signed it before giving it back. She breathed a bit easier, and signed her own name on the line, thankful that there wasn't too much pushback. Taking another breath she asked him, “Have you ever worked with numb tissue?”

He nodded, no hesitation. “Yes, I have seen many veterans come in with reduced feeling in their legs or arms. I am a healer but I can not repair tissue that is already dead, but I help alleviate their pain.” He looked at her questioningly. “What area affects you?”

She sighed, way too late to turn back now. She slowly took off her right glove, watching his face closely to see his reaction.

His eyes were definitely wide now. “Is that Hawkmo-“

She didn’t let him finish. “Yes, yes Hawkmoth's butterfly, that's what it is, and I need your help in trying to regain feeling back in my hand.” She presented it to him.

He slowly took it, and once again Chloe couldn’t feel it when he touched it lightly and then a bit more firmly. The feeling, the pressure, just felt extremely muted. “You can't feel it? At all? How did this happen?” He asked, slightly breathless. He was obviously astounded.

She slightly shrugged her shoulders. “I was going to be akumatized, but I said no to him. And ever since, I can't feel anything where the butterfly is.”

His head snapped up. “You said NO to Hawkmoth?” His voice was incredulous and when his eyes flickered over her figure quickly she could tell he couldn’t quite believe it.

She held her shoulders back and looked slightly down at him. “Yes.” She said plainly, eyes confident and tone exact. She did say no, something no one has done before, or has been able to. No one should doubt that she had the will to do it.

He looked at her, this time in a new light. “I see.”

She nodded. As he should. He should see that she was capable of such a thing.

Chloe nodded towards her hand. “As much as it would be fun to brag about it, I’m not stuck with the akuma butterfly thing IN my hand. If that wasn’t bad enough, I can’t feel anything where it touches.”

“Really?” He asks, touching it again, turning her hand over to see it from all angles.

“Yes, really.” She almost rolled her eyes. Why do people ask for confirmation when they clearly hear the statement? “Now the real question here is, can you help?”

He pauses, looking pensive for a moment. He gives her her hand back, standing up before pacing in front of her. He holds his chin in a thinking manner, and his other hand behind his back.

He does this for two paces before she finally loses her patience. “Is that a yes or a no?”

He stops, turning to look at her. He looks quickly at something behind her and she begins to turn to look at what he is before she’s interrupted by him speaking. “I believe I can, but I have to ask you a question.”

She waited for him to continue. “Have you noticed it getting any bigger? Is it pulsing whenever you have bad thoughts?”

“One, that’s two questions,” She couldn’t help but notice but then began to think about the actual questions. “And perhaps on the first question. I feel like it was a bit smaller when I originally got it, but it’s hard to tell.”

He nodded, began pacing again. She thought over this last day. “As for the second, I have noticed that it throbs every now and then, it’s been erratic and inconsistent but it has been happening enough that I’ve noticed it.” She crossed her arms. “But what does that have to do with anything?”

He makes one more pace before putting both hands behind his back. “Just my curiosity getting ahead of me, that’s all.” He came to sit in front of her. He gestured for her to give him her hand. “I’m not sure if I can help you restore feeling back, but I can at least reduce the tension surrounding it.”

She sighed a bit in relief. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear but it’s something. “Thank you.” People generally like it when you thank them, even if they did nothing to deserve it. She sometimes forgets that.

He massaged her hand for about 30 minutes, as the two sat in comfortable silence. When it was over Chloe was extremely relieved that he was right. Perhaps he did deserve it. Yes, she still couldn’t feel anything but she could bend and flex her hand without any tension.

She smiled, “This feels much better than what it was.” He smiles, saying he’s just happy to help.

Chloe looks a bit sheepish now. “I’d hate to ask, but do you have a restroom I can use before I head out?”

He chuckled a bit, nodding. “Yes, it’d be right through those doors on your right.” He pointed towards the back on the shop. She nodded her head in thanks.

It didn’t take long and she was back in no time to check out.

She looked for her purse but couldn’t find it by the futon where she left it. Nor could she see the futon.

“Looking for this?” Chloe turned to find Master Fu holding her purse out to her. “My apologies, but I was putting away the futon. My last appointment canceled so I had no need for it anymore.”

She smiled, though it was a bit tight. She’s still not sure how she liked having him touch her stuff. “It’s alright. Here, let me pay and I’ll be out of your way.” She starts to reach for her wallet in her purse but the old man places a hand on hers to stop her movements.

He shook his head. “There’s no need. I’m just happy to help in any way I can.” He clasped his hands behind his back once again before venturing away from her towards the gramophone. 

“That’s not a very good business model, I don’t believe.” She tries to joke with him, her hand still ready to pull out the cash. 

He starts up a song of foreign origin and turns back to her. “Perhaps not, but you are in a situation I have never seen before. Maybe even the only one this will happen to.” 

She narrowed her eyes. “Are you taking pity on me?” 

Chloe would have thought he would be a bit shaken by the glare coming from her but he merely smiled lightly at her. “No, Miss. Not at all. I would just like to take this opportunity to share what I know.” 

“And what is it that you know?” She crossed her arms, leaning on one leg a bit more. This better be good. 

The soft music filled the air and Master Fu stood in front of the glass doors, looking out at the city. “I’ve lived a long time, and seen many, old and young, fall to people like Hawkmoth. Too overwhelmed by emotion, it’s hard for those who are not emotionally balanced to resist the call of temptation.” He turned to her to give her a curious smile. “As I’ve said before, you’re the first I’ve heard capable of doing so, in this manner.”

She waited for him to continue his point. He sighs, a weariness coming over him all of a sudden. “If only those that were unbalanced knew that if they were just patient in their moments of anger they could escape the sorrow that would come after.” 

His words echoed in her head long after she left. He still didn’t let her pay, but she’ll be sure to be back sometime soon.

Her hotel room was thankfully finished when she made it back. It was such a sight to see she just threw her purse haphazardly on the vanity before starting her nightly routine.

Dressed in her matching silk pajamas, teeth all brushed, she sat at her vanity to start taking off all her make up. But first...

Chloe took her purse, and started taking everything out of it. It’s time to declutter.

Her phone, lipstick, eyeliner all could be seen but then Chloe had to do a double take. _What’s is this?_ Her hand touched what felt like a small box. She opened the bag more to peer inside. What did she put in here again?

Somehow, an octagonal wooden jewelry box, with some kind of Chinese red symbol on it, got in her purse. Okay, she definitely didn’t put that in there. Considering where she just came from, it must have been put in there when she was at Master Fu’s.

But if that was true, then he would have had to put it in...

Chloe’s eyes widened. _Of course!_ When she went to the bathroom and he handed her the purse back. That also must be why he didn’t want her paying because then she would have noticed right away.

She looked at it more closely. But why would he give her something like this?

Curious, she opened it only to be greeted by a brilliant flash of yellow light. When it died down, she was floored by what she saw.

Perhaps one good thing did happen today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry! I've been currently in the process of moving from the US to Germany and got completely swamped with all the responsibilities and technicalities associated with it. I'm finally getting my feet planted a bit more firmly and considering how long I've been out of commission, I decided to finish the little prequel section of the story all together in one swoop. Up next we get to see what life is like a few years later down the road. Hope you guys enjoy! Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

The next couple of days were hectic for Chloe. How could it not be? With the akuma in her hand that she’s slowly losing feeling of, the loss of the only person that was like a friend to her,and her father suddenly trying to get her a babysitter, Chloe is confident she lost ten years of her life dealing with the amount of stress each and every one of those situations caused.

Not to mention the small softball-sized living _god_ that has taken it upon themselves to be Chloe’s mentor.

She had scoffed when the little thing had said that. After the mini freak out she had when she finally registered that the yellow fluff ball was in fact a real, living, breathing _something-_ and that she was not hallucinating, did she begin to calm down and pay attention to what the creature was saying.

Turns out she didn’t like what they were saying at all.

“What do you mean I have to work with Ladybug and Chat Noir?!”

Pollen, the thing had introduced herself as, bowed her head slightly. It was perhaps one of the things that helped Chloe calm down the most: the submissiveness. Chloe was under no impression that she did not have the upper hand in this situation. This is due to the fact that when she had first opened the box and Pollen appeared, she immediately closed it and the Kwami, as it likes to be called, went away.

It was only after the second time of testing this speculation that Chloe deemed that she does have control over this creature, and that no, it was not in her head. This is the kind of thing that no one prepares for- dealing with impossibilities. Chloe now knows she’s the type of person to scream and throw a box across the room before being curious about something new and alarming.

It was...not a flattering image of herself, she’s come to admit.

When she had done her breathing exercises and located the box underneath her couch, she hurriedly opened it before hiding behind said couch. The flash of yellow light still appeared but after a minute went by and no other sign or sound occurred she peaked over the side of the couch at the box. Pollen sat there on one of the cushions, quite patiently, with her head slightly bowed. It was then that Chloe started speaking to her and came to the conclusion that this was a non hostile organism.

Throughout both introductions, allow extremely hesitant on Chloe’s part, Pollen has maintained a calm and respectful demeanor. It was something that Chloe wished she had been able to pull off sooner. What was the point of all those etiquette classes, all that training and conditioning to not embarrass her parents in front of important officials, if she can’t stay calm when put under pressure like having a god show up unexpectedly in her room?

Okay, she’s being unreasonable. And a bit ridiculous, but the feeling of frustration was still there. She _should_ be able to maintain a cool head when in tough situations. She _should_ have the mental capability to fathom that this creature of some unknown origin, calls themselves Pollen, the Kwami of Subjection, and wants to make _her,_ Chloe Bourgeois, a superhero. That works with Ladybug and Chat Noir. That has powers like being able to fly, immobilize people, preferably villains, superior strength, faster reflexes, and a bit more that Chloe kind of lost track of. She’s supposed to have a new identity, a crime fighting name, to go with her new persona. She can’t tell anyone about this or loved ones will be hurt.

All this information, things she once read about in comics Adrien and her used to read when they were little, was alarming as it wasn’t fake anymore. It was _real_ and it was happening to _her._ The world had changed once with the appearance of Hawkmoth and the two heroes. Suddenly that superhero talk wasn’t that unrealistic anymore. Chloe had thought of them as entities- as how could they be human? They must have been more, for no human, no matter the costume, could pull off the stunts they were doing.

And yet....

Here Pollen is, explaining what she’s supposed to do. Who she’ll be now, as she takes on the mantle of being the new Bee Miraculous holder. Ladybug and Chat Noir have the same type of Kwami’s, though of creation and destruction, not subjection. But they were the same. They were like Chloe- a regular civilian, given a chance to be something more.

Well, that is, if she agrees to this. This utter _nonsense_ of working with that polka-dotted heroine and her mangy cat.

“The miraculous holders are supposed to be harmonious with one another. We all felt the loss of the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculous and the guardian felt that you will help the holders of Tikki and Plagg’s miraculous regain that balance.” Pollen spoke softly, as if Chloe was only a second away from breaking.

And maybe she was. Her patience, her sanity, and her ability to handle stress levels have been into play an absurd amount these days. She’s about had it, but she’s trying not to give her dad anymore reasons to keep an eye on her. She already destroyed her room once this week, twice might be pushing it.

Chloe took a deep breath. She straightened her back, sitting on the couch now with a more befitting posture. It was time to set some things straight. “It would please me nothing more than to help get rid of that arrogant, manipulating insect- especially if it was done by my hands.” Pollen started to look excited, her stinger swaying back and forth. “But-“ She stopped swaying. “The idea of working with those two...heroes, puts a sour taste in my mouth.”

Pollen lifted her head, eyes wide and pleading. “Please, you must see the importance of working together to stop a villain such as Hawkmoth. He’s too powerful to go after alone. His akumas are strong and without Ladybug’s cure you won’t be able to purify the akuma.”

Chloe glanced down at her hand, still covered by the gloves from the day. “Oh, I don’t think anyone will have to worry about Hawkmoth for awhile.”

Pollen floated up to her, to be at eye level. Chloe blinked, with her stomach in knots. Alright, so this Kwami can fly too. That’s a nice surprise. Chloe relaxed her fingers from gripping her pants, when she noticed Pollen just hovering about a foot and half away from her. She gave herself a pat on the back for not freaking out as much this time.

Pollen stayed silent for a moment, watching her. Chloe could perhaps guess on what she’s thinking. Probably wondering why she’s so insistent on being okay on her own, when she has little freak outs whenever Pollen flies at her. Not a good indication that Chloe’s got this supervillan crime fighting thing down. Then again, maybe she’s just being paranoid.

Either way, Chloe appreciates the way she’s waiting. She nods at the Kwami and now waits her turn as she listens to Pollen speak. “I implore you, as the holder to the Bee Miraculous, consider the ramifications of you going after him alone. If you fail, he will have not one but _three_ Miraculous’s. The chances of Ladybug and Chat Noir will grow smaller, as the teammate they were supposed to rely on, turn their backs on them.”

Oh no. NO. That argument is NOT going to work on her. Chloe glared at Pollen, standing up abruptly from her seat on the couch. “Turn my back on _them?_ They turned their backs on _me!_ ” She breathed heavily for a moment, hand reaching up to her chest. “I tried to help them- and she just slapped down my aid with no other thought than saying I’m a _liar.”_

It was only when she saw how wide Pollen’s eyes were that she realized how crazed she must have looked and must have sounded. She winced, looking away from Pollen, suddenly ashamed for her outburst. She sighed, sitting back down. Rubbing her chest still as she felt her heartbeat she tried to calm herself to the knowledge that Pollen wasn’t there.

She would have no idea what had happened- she wouldn’t have known how angry she would get by using such words towards her. She didn’t mean to accuse Chloe of anything.

She glanced at Pollen, who still remained at her position a few feet away as she flew back from her outburst. Alright, Chloe focus. _You can do this. This conversation is going to go nowhere fast if you can’t get a hold of you emotions._

Chloe turned her eyes to the ground, blinking back ugly, frustrated tears. This whole situation is just a mess. “I apologize, Pollen.” Her jaw hurt from being clenched so tightly. “But I tried doing the whole... _helping out,”_ She paused, trying to center herself again. “...thing. It just wasn’t for me.” She gave a bitter laugh. “They won’t accept the help anyway. Not if they knew it was from me.”

Pollen started to drift a little bit closer. “But Chloe, _no one_ would know it was you.”

Chloe’s eyes flashed and she shook her head. “But _I_ would know!” She blinked some stray tears away, looking up as if that would hold them in. “Don’t you see, Pollen? I’m not capable of putting it all behind me. Whenever I look at them...whenever I look at _her,_ all I see is that _look._ That look of utter disgust- like the idea of listening to me was not worth her time of day.”

She held herself tighter, trying to block out all the thoughts running through her head. The pain in her hand was helping, but only slightly.

The two remained silent for a little while. And, _there._ A soft, barely-there touch on her cheek. She blinked, and then all she could see was Pollen. With her little tuft of yellow fur around her neck, wide blue eyes, and stripped body, she was objectively the cutest thing Chloe had ever saw. And she was slowly petting at Chloe’s cheek.

“Why did you say no one will worry?”

Chloe blinked. “What?”

Pollen continued to stroke her cheek. Her- hands?- felt so soft. “Earlier,” she elaborated. Voice calm and without alarm. “When I was discussing Hawkmoth- you said you don’t think anyone would have to worry. What did you mean?”

She sniffled, debating on what to do. It shouldn’t hurt to tell her, right? I mean, god, she was so desperate to tell someone she blabbed to a fucking _massage therapist_ about this. Though, she muses, he might not actually be just a massage therapist. But anyway, talking to a literal _god_ should be completely okay- she may even have some answers.

“I said that because, well,” She started to play with the gloves on her hands. “When Ladybug called me a liar, I was akumatized by Hawkmoth.”

Pollen made a quiet gasp, and now it was her whole body up against her cheek. She chuckled a bit at her display of concern. Her left hand came up to tap her softly in gratitude. Pollen nuzzled her but didn’t say anything else. She took that as a cue to continue.

“Or at least, I would have been. If I didn’t say no.”

At this Pollen did make a loud gasp. “You said no!” Her voice filled with disbelief.

Chloe chuckle wryly. “Yeah, unbelievable, right?”

Pollen flew to be right in Chloe’s face, making her kind of go cross eyed trying to look at her. “No, Chloe, not unbelievable.” Her tone was steadfast and carried a weight belying her small stature. “It’s _incredible._ ”

She drifted back to her position against Chloe’s cheek. “Don’t you know, Chloe? I’ve been around for a very, _very_ long time. And it did not matter if the Butterfly Miraculous was in the right hands, or the wrong ones- I have never heard of a case where someone refused the gift the Miraculous had offered. You, Chloe Bourgeois, are unique.”

She stayed silent for a long while. Letting those words soak in. It’s probably the first time in a while where someone had complimented her so sincerely.

“Thank you,” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

“But I fear that I’m still confused, Chloe. Is there more to this story?” Pollen seemed to have stopped stroking her cheek- lost in her desire to hear Chloe’s telling of events.

She nodded slightly, not wanting to bother Pollen too much. “Yes. I wish it was the end, but it’s not. You see, after I said no- the butterfly escaped from the yoyo it possessed. But Ladybug wasn’t to be found, and it was getting away. I panicked.” She took off her glove, showing Pollen the mark.

“Chloe!” She gasped, flying closer to it. “You grabbed the akuma with you hand?!” She fluttered around it, coming out to touch it ever so often. Not that Chloe could feel it. She’s still getting used to the lack of usage.

Chloe nodded even though Pollen was clearly not paying any attention. “Yes. It was dumb, I know, but I didn’t know what else to do. And now, I can’t feel anything in my hand.”

The Kwami’s eyes were wide with concern. Chloe’s starting to think that wide eyes are going to constantly be Pollen’s defeat look. “Nothing at all?” She poked a bit harder at the hand. Chloe shook her head. Pollen hummed and thought for a moment. “What about this?” She closed her eyes and a bright glow started to light up her hands. She placed them on Chloe’s black mark.

Now it was Chloe’s turn to widen her eyes. “Yes! I do feel that! What are you doing?” It felt warm, and she could finally feel the pressure that should be associated with touch.

Pollen’s light dropped, and she started to clap her hands together. “I used my healing magic!”

“You have healing magic?” She asked, surprised. That doesn’t seem like a power a god of subjection would have.

Pollen nodded, excitedly. She flittered about looking at her hand in all angles. Holding it and turning it over in multiple directions. “Well, every god has some sort of healing magic associated with them. It helps when we have careless users that need an extra boost, as well as make sure that we’re okay. We don’t use it too often, and don’t tell everyone that comes into contact with us. In the beginning our users would constantly demand us to use the power, draining us too quickly. It’s only used on necessity.” She stops what she’s doing and stares intently at Chloe. “You are the first that I have told.”

Chloe tries to hold the stare for as long as she could but she ultimately looks away, feeling unworthy. Pollen shouldn’t be trusting her like this.

“Why are you doing this, Pollen? I already told you I can’t work with the other heroes. I’m not a hero.”

“I never said you had to be a hero.”

Chloe scoffed before she could help it. “You sure, because it sounds like that’s what you said.”

Pollen made a small smile, as if she was slightly amused by Chloe’s actions. “You will be the Bee Miraculous holder. What you do from there, I can only guide you.”

The blonde teen eyes the Kwami warily. “You mean, I can still keep the Miraculous, even if I don’t team up with Ladybug and Chat Noir?”

Pollen nodded, and made a little shrug. “I can’t force you to join them, though it would make the fight against Hawkmoth easier.” She made a heavy sigh.

“Why the sudden change in tune?” Chloe couldn’t help but ask. “Just a few minutes ago, you were wanting me to join Ladybug- now you’re saying it’s okay if I don’t?” The blonde started rubbing her hand, hoping that she’s not going to get rebuffed for possibly angering the little god for questioning her decision. But Pollen just smiled again. Chloe’s starting to like being the cause.

“You did, of course.” The Kwami explains. “Technically, yes, I normally wouldn’t be budging from the position of joining the team of active Miraculous holders. However, these circumstances are something I’ve never come across before, and I am unwilling to force my new holder to unsavory conditions where she can’t trust her own teammates. Instead, I will guide you in a way that I haven’t done since my very first holder. I will teach you the way of the Bee Miraculous, so that you may have the strength to take down Hawkmoth.”

Quite frankly, perhaps that’s a bit much for a teenager to really comprehend and Pollen must have seen that as she patted Chloe’s cheek. “Don’t worry, we’ll take it a step at a time.” Chloe smiled back at her, a little less worried.

“So, the beginning?” Chloe asks gingerly, reaching up to slightly pat Pollen’s hand on her cheek.

“I guess I should cover the basics such as why the Miraculous’ are around. They were made in order to help ensure balance among the world. Built to help the humans protect the good in the world. However, we have gone through several phases, over the thousands of wars we’ve been around, where we have fallen into less than pleasant hands.” Pollen continued to explain.

Trying to not think about the implication where _she_ might be the unpleasant hands in the scenario Chloe asked, “What happens then?”

Pollen made a sweeping hand gesture. “What’s happening now. There is always a Guardian around that bestows Miraculous’s to those worthy. When someone like Hawkmoth comes around, he ‘awakens’ these Miraculous holders so they may regain the lost Miraculous and restore balance.”

Chloe thought for a minute. “Wait, but if the Guardian is the one that gives out these Miraculous’s then did Master Fu give Hawkmoth his miraculous?”

Pollen wince a bit. “That’s not exactly what happened, but it was his mistake that led to Hawkmoth getting a hold of it.” Her wide eyes narrowed a bit as she looked at Chloe. “It’s not common for the Guardian to give out his identity so early to a new holder. How did you come to know?”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “Like it was that hard to figure out. There have been only two people to touch my purse today: me and Master Fu. Considering I didn’t have this jewelry when I went to his massage place, and had it when I came back after he handed me my bag, there was only one logical explanation.” Chloe looked at Pollen, a bit smug. “And if I had any doubts, you just confirmed it for me.”

Pollen blinked. Then a large smile spread across her face. “Oh! A clever bee miraculous holder! This is going to be fun.”

Before they could continue a knock sounded on the door.

It was probably for the best that the two had their conversation interrupted by the butler dropping off a note from her father. Chloe was too distracted by the first meeting to realize just how truly tired she was from the day. In the middle of reading the note about her father requesting her presence in the morning, she was already yawning.

Pollen was so sweet, just guided her to her bed and made sure she was under the covers. Chloe reached out for her when Pollen was flying away. “You’ll be here? In the morning?”

A nod. And maybe a glint in her eye. “Of course, my Queen. It’ll be the start of our new reign together.”

************

Breakfast with father was something that Chloe, for the most part, looks forward to. It’s hard to get quality time with him due to his schedule, so these little meals are some of the only times they can truly talk to one another. They can laugh about how bumbling fools politicians can become trying to win her father’s favor, and how utterly ridiculous her classmates are for believing in their dreams.

Seriously. How could she not laugh when someone says they’ll be the first gay mayor of Paris? Do they not even realize just who holds the majority of the seats in the Senate, let alone the administrative council? Cause it’s certainly not LGBT activists.

Chloe still remembers the way her Dad laughed at that joke the last time they had breakfast together. Though a part of her felt a bit awkward approaching the subject, she couldn’t help but smile, if a bit warily, along with her father. After all, these little moments were hard to come by.

And it’s these little moments with her father that she truly enjoys. So Chloe will eagerly get ready and presentable. Will eagerly and confidently greet the day and all those nasty little pea bodies if it means a few moments of approval from her father.

She hopes he likes the new comb. And the new gloves.

“You sure you’re going to be okay?” Chloe asks Pollen, patting her comb experimentally to quadruple check its security. She glanced down.

Pollen blinked at her from her opened purse before smiling, crumbs around her mouth. “Yes, my Queen, your purse is actually quite comfy. And thank you again for the croissants.” She bit into said viennoiserie pastry again, still looking up with those big eyes. 

It’s official. Chloe would die for her. 

The elevator dinged and with her head held high, Chloe started her day. Immediately she sought out her father, slightly curious to find out why she’s been requested to meet him this morning. 

The lobby wasn’t quite busy, but for such a large, and reputable hotel in the heart of Paris, there’s never really a quiet moment. Unfamiliar faces were dull to her, so it wasn’t long before she caught sight of her father near the doors chatting with another well dressed gentleman. 

Confidently she strode up to him, making sure she caught her father’s eye as she got closer. He smiled at her, said some words to the gentleman, before meeting her halfway in the middle of the lobby. 

“Chloe!” He grinned brightly, leaning down to kiss both her cheeks. He went in for a quick hug, before ushering to meet the gentleman who stood waiting. “Please, come with me. I want to introduce you to Mr. Ferdinand.” 

Mr. Ferdinand had a firm grip, but that’s all Chloe would give him credit for. Conventionally handsome, with a white grin, strong jaw, and fit physique, he reminded her of those models in magazines that one would look at once then move on. She certainly didn’t like the way his eyes lingered a bit too long on her chest. 

She almost scoffed. Less a gentleman, more of a scum.  
  


“It’s a pleasure to meet you Ms. Bourgeois.” Still not letting go from her hand, he brought it up to his lips to kiss the back of it. _Oh no he did not._ “I can’t wait to begin working with you.” 

_Excuse me?_

Taking back her hand, she didn’t bother hiding her look of distaste. “Father, would kindly explain to me why this...” She made a vague gesture of her hand at him. “ _Ferdinand_ , believes we’ll be working together?” 

Her father chuckled uneasily, stepping in between the two of them. “Will you excuse us?” It wasn’t a question. He guided her away a few feet before turning to her completely. “Now, Chloe, I know this might seem out of the blue, but I need you to be open minded.”

Now she scoffed. “Open minded? About what?”

He made a placating gesture. “Just, with everything going on- from the new heroes to you constantly being attacked, I hired a bodyguard for you so th-“

“You what?!” 

“-at you’re more protected.” He finished, showing only a slight wince at her loud objection. He glanced back at the new hire, making sure his daughter’s outburst didn’t perturb him. Sure enough, he was looking slightly uneasy. He turned back to his irate daughter that now had her arms crossed. Ooh, how to proceed, how to proceed. “I know it’s not ideal, but this is for your protection. He’s also here to help you out- think of him as an assistant.” 

The teenager shook her head adamantly. “Absolutely not, father! He looks like a walking toothpaste commercial. I refuse to place the trust of my safety in such hands.” She hmphed, looking away from him in a haughty manner. 

It was times like these that the mayor really wished he paid more attention to the worship-like attention his daughter gave her mother when she was younger. 

“Darling, he comes highly recommended-“

“By who? The 9 out of 10 dentists?” She asked snidely. “No, father. I do not need a bodyguard, nor an assistant- I do not need any help!” Before he could say another word, she walked back to the soon to be fired bodyguard. 

He reached out to stop her but decided against it. Just rubbed the bridge of his nose as he idly listened to his daughter verbally undress the young man. 

“-on’t care about what class you fucked your way to the top of-“ cue predictable scandalous face here “-but think for one second that I’d allow a boy with more hair gel than I do look out for my well being, then you’re better off waiting for the return of Jesus fucking Christ before I would agree to such an asinine option.” With a hair flip, Chloe walked away out into Paris. 

Mr. Ferdinand just gaped after her, clearly going through a variety of emotions. But as he took a moment to look at his surroundings he couldn’t help but settle on anger at the slight chuckles nearby onlookers gave him. Most looked uncomfortable but it was obvious that they pitied him. 

“I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Ferdinand, but perhaps we can come to an-“ 

The mayor tried to appease, but Mr. Ferdinand would have none of it. “Your daughter is a deplorable character- you should have raised her better!” He puffed out his chest, straightening his jacket, as if it would give more merit to his words. That, or to shake off the residual feeling of humiliation. “After meeting her, it’s clear that this arrangement would have been impossible. Good luck finding someone else from the company, with the way she disrespected me you’ll be lucky to find a mall cop willing to work for you.” With that, he walked off stomping all the way.

Normally the Mayor wouldn’t have even let the blue collared man get past the first syllable of deplorable. By the time he would have finished the word, the Mayor would have had his own security team escort the irate man out of his presence. But to do so would bring more attention than he wanted to the scene already, so with a sigh he waved an assistant over once the ex-hire left. 

“It seems that Mr. Ferdinand is going to be needing to find a new job. Luckily for him, I hear the mall is hiring. Be sure to send my glowing recommendation to the director.” With a nod, his assistant was already pulling out his phone to call the International Protection Agency to make the transfer. 

The mayor sighed. Looks like this is going to be another long day.

  
So indeed, the first morning as the new holder of the Bee Miraculous was already off to a great start. And the other two probably don’t even know she’s there! She honestly would like to keep it that way for a bit longer.

She hasn’t really had a chance to even try on the suit and would rather get a better handle of it before she even has to think about introducing herself to the others. She’ll definitely see if Pollen is up for transforming tonight.

  
That, and if she would mind healing her hand a bit. It’s nowhere near as numb as before but she can officially tell that it’s spreading. It’s covered her whole hand now and just barely touching her wrist. She’s morbidly curious to see how far it would go.

For now, she has to get through just a couple more weeks of school before summer break. Shouldn’t be that hard considering Chloe has already experienced the worst day of her life. How could it get worse?   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys! I'm back! So sorry for the wait- things definitely picked up here and unfortunately writing fanfic couldn't be a priority. But now that it's over, I'll be posting more frequently now. Not sure if you noticed, but I did change the summary. When I first started this, the first chapter or two were going to be prologues so to speak, but I realized I had way too much to set up so I just decided to change the summary to better fit the story. As always, I appreciate any feedback and reviews you would like to share! I don't have a beta reader, so it's good to see what you guys picked up that I didn't. Anyway, have a great day everybody and I hope you enjoyed the third chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

“Not to sound impatient,” _what a new concept_ “-but I thought being a miraculous holder actually meant, you know, using the miraculous.” Chloe huffed, once again dodging a projectile aimed at her. 

Pollen smiles from her perch on the other side of the rooftop. She formed another energy of light in her hand and without warning the orb shot at Chloe with the speed of a baseball machine. “To thrust immense power on an unprepared pupil is like forcibly taking control of an empire.”

Chloe dodges, a slight _vrrmm_ noise becoming more audible as it got closer. It reminded her a bit of the humming of lights- if it was a bit lower in tone. She’s gotten quite acquainted with the sound as Pollen gave her first lesson. The first time she dodged one she almost got hit again, watching as the small ball of yellow light would just dissipate into thin air as if it was never there. Pollen’s powers were definitely fascinating and she’s slightly curious to see if she’ll be able to do the same when she’s transformed. 

“You’ll spend the rest of your life trying to keep that power under control.”

Two more of the glowing orbs came at her before she could even catch her breath from the first. Rolling quickly to the right, she was able to dodge the first but she didn’t get up quick enough out of her roll, and the second hit her right in the back of her left thigh. It was in this moment- or more accurately the 22nd time- that she regretted wearing spandex shorts to this workout. _Perhaps leggings? Or maybe even sweatpants. Anything’s got to be better than getting hit by these things directly._

She grunted in pain, her thoughts cut short, as the shot exploded a bit on impact. Gritting her teeth, she forced herself back into ready position. Knees bent, in low position, and head up waiting for Pollen to launch the next round. She’ll definitely have a bruise there, but it was already blending in with the others across her body. 

Pollen nodded in satisfaction at Chloe’s determination to get up again. It was almost a surprise. Their first true day together has shown Pollen a little more insight to who Chloe is. While it was nice to know that her holder does not have qualms about speaking her mind, the way she does so is a bit concerning. Taking into account her high social status, Pollen had a fleeting concern of the power going to her head- especially the one of subjugation. 

So Pollen waited and watched Chloe. Yes, it was unheard of that Chloe resisted the almost hypnotic pull of the Butterfly Miraculous. But she needed to make sure that Chloe would have the strength of character to wield Pollen’s power without being tempted. 

The more she observed the more excited she became. 

It’s been about an hour since they’ve started their training session and it was only now that’s Chloe brought up the possibility of transforming. And roughly 20 hours since she first learned about Pollen and what it meant to be a Miraculous holder. Absolutely marvelous.

Usually once holders get over the shock of seeing them and find out they can now do, they immediately say the key words. Pollen herself has had many such cases, and it gets challenging to warn the holders of the dangers beforehand and not play catch up once the transformation ends. 

Chloe hasn’t even asked what the key words are. She knows that she can become a hero like Ladybug and Chat Noir, so Pollen didn’t have to really go over that aspect as much as she had to do with some of her previous masters. And still, Chloe has been surprisingly very patient when it comes to letting Pollen speak before commenting. Something she hasn’t seen the young girl do with some of her classmates. 

_Though_ , Pollen pondered, studying the teenager before her. _Perhaps she doesn’t believe they have much to say_. She fired more of her light bombs at her trainee. She’s toned down the intensity immensely as she’s just wanting to work on Chloe’s reflexes- not to cripple the girl. 

But if her senses are correct, Chloe’s classmates, at least two of them, have much more to say than Chloe’s giving them credit for. It’ll be curious to see who will figure out who first. 

The pupil in question has done remarkably well, considering this is her first time doing any excessive training in such a manner. Chloe has described her light workout regimen she keeps for her health, as well as her strict diet. Pollen knows that her young master will have to change a few things to be able to retain the muscle mass that is sure to gain from everything that she’ll be going through. 

Firing one last light bomb, Pollen watched with satisfaction as Chloe dodged it. Her movements are much more fluid now than the beginning of their lesson. She’s showing much determination to get it right and has steadily decreased the amount of times she’s been hit in the past half hour especially. 

“So I need a good foundation then?” Chloe asked, referring to Pollen’s previous statement. She tried to make sense of the comment about fighting control while also trying to find a better way to dodge the projectiles. They’ve all been coming randomly and as much as Chloe has been trying to look for a pattern but there has been no such luck in finding it- if there even was one. “That, or be so powerful no one would think twice to challenge me.” She ended wryly.

Pollen shook her head, sending out five more projectiles. “A leader who is powered by fear will only create enemies of their allies. If you take with force, another will take from you.” She smiled when Chloe dodged all but one. “Very good Chloe!”

Chloe gasped a bit in pain as it got her right on her shoulder but she soon reset herself. “You’re awfully philosophical tonight. Are you always like this?” She paused for a beat, looking to the left a bit quickly, as if debating with herself. “And...thank you.” Another beat. “Your compliment. Thank you for your compliment, I mean.” 

Ahh, and there it is. For such a confident young woman, this little one is very unsure on what to do with compliments. Genuine ones, that is. It worries Pollen in a way, to see her master so unsure of herself.

“I do not mean to be overly philosophical- just stating what I’ve witnessed over the years. You deserve a rest though, before we begin the next step.” She looked to the sky. It was almost sunset and soon their true training will begin. To train the body is relatively easy. The mind is much more tricky. 

Chloe breathed a sigh of release and tried not to think about how much her whole body hurt. The throb of her hand almost unnoticeable now. 

She walked over to the edge of the private gym where she had placed her water bottle. She was initially worried about using the family’s private indoor gym for their first lesson but it was simple to just lock the door and explain to her butler that she was not to be disturbed whatsoever. Doing so would result in immediate firing. After that it was a small matter to create an open space for the two, and Pollen’s bombs always dissipated once she dodged them so there was also no concern about being asked later why there are burn marks all over the walls. 

Chloe drank greedily from her water bottle, desperate for some hydration. Her tank top was sticking to her skin, and she felt extremely gross. She could practically smell herself- she was so gross. 

But she’s never felt more satisfied. Looking at Pollen’s proud face whenever she would make a particularly impressive dodge was worth every hit she would get. 

_Is this...is this what it’s like to get approval?_

Pollen fluttered up to her and hugged her cheek. “That was an amazing first lesson, my Queen! I’m so pleased to see you taking this seriously.” The little fluff ball rubbed their cheeks together and Chloe felt her chest tighten. She was suddenly overcome with the strange desire to hug the Kwami tightly to her. However, she doubts that would be possible, in fear of hurting the tiny thing. Instead she settled to pat her lightly on the head and scratch Pollen between her antennae. 

“How could I not? Between the akuma in my hand, and the fact that you’re a literal god, it’d be incredibly foolish to think that I could just take this lightly.” She paused for a second, considering how to word her next words. “It’s only been a few days and I’m starting to think that I may never regain the feeling in my hand- despite your healing.” 

Pollen made a light humming noise and snuggled a bit closer, tilting her head up to get more scratches. They were quiet for a moment, enjoying the brief moment of peace before Pollen decided to bring up the topic she’s been patiently waiting to bring up. 

“I fear you may be right Chloe.” Looking intensely at Chloe she asked, “My Queen, do you know why the butterfly is spreading?” 

Chloe looked down at her hand. The butterfly, so dark is was almost hypnotic, still maintained its size from before. Though it had grown from its original size, Chloe suspects that it’s current size (with its wingspan just barely wrapping around her palm and its body taking up the majority of her palm) will be its final size. 

However, it wasn’t so much the size of the butterfly that was concerning, it was the black things that come with it that’s worrisome. Because now those thing web like vines were running off the butterfly. The butterfly itself was raised but the black veins were not. They just seep into her skin like writing with too much ink on a page making the lines bleed. 

And her whole hand is bleeding. 

So much so that she can barely see the color of her own skin along her fingers. The veins wrapped around her whole hand now, and reaching just a little past her wrist. 

She sighed, a bit overwhelmed. She didn’t like looking at it and it’s just becoming abundantly clear that it’s getting worse.“No, Pollen.” She answered the Kwami. “I’m not sure why.” 

Pollen nodded, as if she expected the answer. “When a butterfly is not cured by Ladybug’s miraculous, the number of them grow- akumatizing more and more people until the original falls under Hawkmoth’s control again.” 

Blinking, Chloe remembered, “That sounds an awful like when that punk Neanderthal in my class got akumatized.”

Pollen stared at her. “Who?” Perhaps needing s bit more description Chloe continues to fill Pollen in. 

“That gorilla of a boy in my class? Looks like he’s a second away from becoming a no name rock band’s groupie? Head over heels for that small bubbling hippy while simultaneously becoming one of the most worn out cliche couple in the past decade?”

The further she went on, the further Pollen became a bit more steadfast and floating more in front of her face. The little god crossed her little arms and she took on a look of slight disapproval. 

“Chloe, we’ve talked about this.” Pollen gently reminded her. Chloe winced, remembering the slight reprimand she got from Pollen this morning after firing that would be bodyguard. “It is a very good quality to stand up for yourself. It’s another thing all together to belittle in order to hurt. Now, who did you think of?” 

At this point Chloe had two choices. Either argue the fact that she didn’t necessarily say anything untrue about the boy or agree with Pollen and just say the boys name. It wouldn’t have even been a tough choice to make, were Pollen a teacher or even the Principal. Why should she care about the second handed offense of people who are trying to maintain some semblance of control over others since they obviously have no control of their own lives? It’s utterly ridiculous to think she would care about the opinions of such bothersome people. 

But Pollen isn’t a bothersome person. She isn’t even a person! And she’s shown Chloe more genuine interest and concern that even her dad at times. Her daddy loves her, that’s true, but even on his best day there’s always something else he’s giving his attention to when he talks with her. Pollen puts all her attention on Chloe and when she speaks, Chloe wants to give the Kwami all her attention in return. 

“The idea of the butterfly multiplying- it reminds me of Ivan. When he first got akumatized.” She said softly, looking at Pollen with slightly cautionary eyes. 

Pollen nodded, satisfied. “Thank you, Chloe. Now, please tell me more about the situation with Ivan.” 

Chloe smiled back at Pollen- looks of caution gone, with relief in its place. “It was actually the first time Ladybug and Chat Noir appeared. Ivan got turned into a rock monster but I guess Ladybug didn’t purify the butterfly right away because the next day Ivan was back to normal but people kept on turning into the same type of rock monster.”

“Were these people able to move or were they frozen?” Pollen inquired, heading tilted in thought.

The politician’s daughter shook her head. “They were frozen-that is, until Ivan got akumatized again. When that happened they all came to life and started fighting as his little army.” 

“That would make sense,” Pollen put a hand-paw? Chloe needs to ask at this point- on her chin. _Gah! So cute!_ “It has always been a stipulation that the Butterfly Miraculous could only have one Champion. The power of that Champion can change, but at the core there is only one. These newly formed helpers could only move at the originals command and so on.”

As much as Chloe would love to still sit, she decided that it’d be best to go through some stretches as Pollen and her discussed the situation. 

“Then, since Ladybug hasn’t purified the butterfly in my hand, that’s why it’s spreading?” Chloe clarified, laying down to do a figure 4 stretch. _Maybe she should ask for help from the red and block spotted hero._ Eyes filled with disdain flashed through her mind and Chloe shoved that thought away. _No. Not until I’m fucking desperate. I don’t need her help at this moment. I got Pollen._

The god of subjection came buzzing to be near her head on her left. “Yes, it is this most logical solution. The Butterfly is spreading as normal, but since it’s in your hand and not an object, it will spread and will continue to do so, throughout your body.” 

Chloe blanched at that particular news. She paused in her seated forward bend only momentarily. “You mean, there’s no way to stop it? Like, is there actually a way for Ladybug to cure it?” 

The Kwami thought for a moment. “In order to separate the butterfly from its champion, the object that tethers it to the holder must be broken. Your tether...” Pollen trailed off. “I fear that the only way to get to the butterfly would be to break open the skin.”

Chloe grimaced, and not from the torso twist she started. “Eww, that’s...unpleasant.” She thought for another moment. “Wait, so how big does the opening need to be? Like, would a paper cut work?” 

Pollen made a slight humming noise in thought. “Perhaps, but if that is the case, it would be wise to have Ladybug on standby so she could cure the butterfly otherwise it would just spread and be like the ordeal with Ivan.” 

A grimace. “Yeah, I’ll try to hold off cutting myself then. I am _not_ in the mood to deal with her right now.” Chloe touched her hand idly in-between switching forms. “Besides, with how tough this feels, perhaps I won’t even have to worry about getting paper cuts.” Pollen came over and though she’s seen it before, this time she examined the mark. 

“Indeed. It does seem to have hardened the skin it touches. The fact remains that it will continue to spread but I do believe there’s a way to slow the process down.” The god of subjection stated, her tone sure. 

“Really? Please, how?” Chloe was eager to know. She even sat up, her current stretch forgotten, so she could look at Pollen more comfortably. 

“I’ve noticed, as the day progressed, that whenever you exhibit anger, or frustration, I would sense the spike of energy from your hand. I imagine that this will also occur whenever you feel strong negative emotions: to include sadness, worry, and stress especially.” 

Chloe groaned, a sudden tightness in her chest. “Oh well that’s just perfect. No worries Pollen, I’m the happiest person you’ll ever meet. In fact, why don’t you call me Marinette Fucking _Dupain-Chang,_ as the biggest problem I’ve ever had was tripping and spilling macaroons on the street!” She flailed her arms, as if unable to fully explain the suddenly rush of anxiety that overcame her. “I mean, my god, it’s not like I’m the only daughter to a world famous fashion designer and mayor of Paris and have responsibilities and expectations to uphold. No pressure there. Oh wait, maybe a couple considering the fact that my mother left me ‘cause I wasn’t good enough. Not to mention my absent father who’s too busy running a city than his own daughter! Not like I’m slowly _losing my mind_ -“

Almost as if to make her point a deep throb erupted from her hand. Strong enough to make her grip tightly to her forearm as if that would stop the pain. 

“Chloe! Chloe!” Pollen came flying up to her, reaching out with paws already aglow with her healing magic. “Please, let me see!”

Chloe tried to stay calm and still for her but it was proving a bit difficult. Pollen went on to say, “Breathe for me Chloe. Breathe in.” She paused. “Breathe out.” 

Pollen led Chloe through a couple of breaths before Chloe was calm enough to stop trembling. Pollen’s healing magic was helping but only with the pain of it spreading. It’s only grown slightly with every time she’s felt the slight throb, but this time it felt like it was on fire. She could only assume that when it spreads it hurts, numbing everything it touches until it stops. 

“My Queen, please you need to be honest with me. How is your sleep?” Pollen asked, her tone urgent.

Chloe blinked at the odd question. “What? Why would you even bother asking that at this time?”

“Chloe,” Pollen stresses. “What are your sleeping habits?”

The teenager scoffed, looking away. “What does it matter? Can’t you see I’m trying not to-“

“Answer. The question, Chloe.” Pollen didn’t exactly glare but she definitely wasn’t happy with Chloe at the moment. 

She huffed a breath out, trying not to look directly at Pollen. “Fine, about 8 hours like normal.” 

Now she really did glare. “Chloe Bourgeois, this is no time to lie to me. You may be my master and the holder of my miraculous, but I assure you not cooperating with me will be a mistake.” 

Another dull throb went through her arm, but Chloe was glad that Pollen still didn’t stop her healing maneuvers, despite being mad at her. 

Chloe sighed. “I wake at 4 am to get ready.” 

“How many hours of sleep _do you get_?” Pollen narrowed her eyes. “Do _not_ make me ask again.” 

The young girl winced at the Kwami’s tone and just made a shrug. “Maybe 5 on average? It’s hard to sleep at times.” 

“In the past few weeks, how often have you felt these types of strong negative emotions?”

“About everyday,” Chloe laughed without any humor when the silence drew out a bit longer than normal. She pulled her knees up and rested her head on, so Pollen wouldn’t see her teary eyes. 

“What about your energy? In the past few weeks, have you felt an increase in energy? A decrease? Are you finding it hard to accomplish daily tasks?”

“I’m so tired!” Chloe cried a bit. She wiped her eyes with her arm. “So tired, like- I feel like if I stop moving, I’ll drown.” 

There was a pause here. Just a bit of hesitation and a soft voice. 

“Chloe, have you ever had any thoughts of suicide?”

Oh god oh god. She’s going to answer and Pollens going to leave. Why would she stay? She could try to lie but she already found out that Pollen is somehow a lie detector. 

“Yes.” It was a quiet answer, almost a whimper, but one that could still be heard anyway. 

“Have you ever made an attempt.” The little Kwami’s voice was still soft. Still gentle and there was no sense of judgement in it. Chloe honestly felt worse about the lack of judgement than anything. 

Chloe had tears slowly running down her face but she shook her head. “No. Just-uh, just thoughts.” 

Pollen came flying up, hugging the side of her cheek, stroking it in a reassuring manner. “Oh my dear Chloe. Forgive me for bringing this up so abruptly but there is no other choice. Are you seeing a medical professional for help?” 

Another shake of a head. “No.” 

“Does your father know?” 

A shrug. “He found out a year ago when I made a comment to my doctor. He was so...disappointed that his only daughter would have such thoughts and it just felt like I was bringing shame to the family to need to see a shrink. At least...that’s what mom said.” 

“Oh, Chloe, there is nothing- absolutely nothing wrong with seeing a therapist for such things.” 

“Either way, I only went to one session before saying that I just had a lapse of judgment and was fine. Haven’t been to one since.”Chloe fiddled with her fingers, looking away and towards the wall. She really needs to separate herself from the situation soon. 

Pollen floated so she could be in front of Chloe. “Chloe, I don’t want to alarm you but I need you to understand the severity of the position you’re in. With every strong negative feeling you have, the power of the butterfly grows. Soon, it has the potential to cover your whole body. It’s a very good thing you caught it in your hand, as if it’s numbing your nerves, then there is a very high chance that if it were to reach an organ, that organ would stop working.” She took another breath, waiting until Chloe turned back to her.

“Chloe, if you continue to suffer alone, and the butterfly reaches your heart, you will die.” 

*********

There hasn’t been many times where Hawkmoth felt the need to destroy something. Oh yes, he doesn’t mind if his akumas break anything in their pursuit to get the Miraculous’s as the more they break the more the two insipid heroes get distracted. 

But it’s been awhile since HE has ever broken anything. He usually saves that for the others to take care of. It wouldn’t do to have such little control over his emotions to react in a violent manner. What hope would he have to control his little pawns’ emotions if he couldn’t control his? 

So it came as a shock, to be suddenly overwhelmed with anger and frustration so common in his akumas, be felt by him. So much so that he didn’t get ahold of himself in time to recognize a better solution. Just a quick, impulsive, need to _break_ something. 

“Ahhhhhh!” He yelled, throwing his cane against the wall. He had thrown it in the desire to destroy something and he almost lost it when nothing shattered- the lack of reaction bothering him immensely. Thankfully it had hit the wall with a bang, the sound loud enough that it knocked him out of his enraged state. 

He breathed heavily for a second, staring at the cane on the ground. He let his transformation go and felt Nooroo fly to hover behind him a bit but Gabriel paid him no mind. 

He thought he finally had the perfect akuma. He would have thought that for a girl who was so... _angry_ all the time, that she would have succumb to the feelings before. There were plenty of hurt girls like Chloe all over Paris, but he knew Chloe’s habits and how she reacted when she was hurt. It was easy to just wait and keep watch on the people around her until she would give him a prime chance to make a champion. The only downside was that, unlike hers, their anger was superficial. 

Oh she called me a mean name. Oh she hurt my feelings. Oh she humiliated me. 

By god, teenagers are so dramatic. Believing their feelings are justified and everlasting. Makes controlling them so very easy. Say something sweet that they want to hear and they’ll do whatever he asks of them.

Their anger can still be very powerful, despite how initially fleeting it may be, but it will never be the overwhelming anger-the constant tidal wave of anger and self-hatred he kept on feeling from the young abandoned girl. For a girl to be as young as she is and feel the way she does, Gabriel probably couldn’t have asked for a better suited akuma. If he could just get ahold of her, the two so-called heroes would have to pray and get very lucky to defeat such an overwhelming opponent. 

He growled a bit more at the thought of what could have been. He was so close. _So close._ But she suddenly threw him out- not only that, she took his akuma! He could still feel its power from the girl, but he couldn’t harness it. Her thoughts were locked to him. The last he truly saw was the stupid girl grabbing it and then...nothing. 

He walked over to grab his cane, gripping it tightly in the middle. He still had half the mind to break it in half so instead he took a deep breath. 

There’s no guarantee what can happen now. He needs that butterfly if he wants the ring and earrings. Perhaps he could get a hold of her once again- if she were to feel as strongly as she did when Ladybug disregarded her help. If not, then there’s always the Peacock Miraculous. In the meantime, he’ll see what he can do with the cards he has now. 

He walked a bit calmer now, towards the main foyer. He needed to speak to Ms. Natalie. He had a new task for her. 

Along the way, it almost came as a shock to see his son walking in through the front door. Though it was the late afternoon on a weekday. This is generally the time he arrives home anyway. 

“Adrien.” He called. Immediately his son stopped, turning to look at him. Such a handsome young boy, it was almost hard to look at him. Reminded him too much of what he lost. Instead he gritted his teeth. “Where have you been?”

Adrien scratches the back of his head, a nervous habit. “Oh, just coming back from hanging out with my friends.”

Gabriel showed no sign that he even registered the words. Just stepped down the stairs, completely composed as if he didn’t just have a mini freak out. “I have a question for you son.” 

“Yes, Father?” 

Examining closely he asked, “I haven’t heard you speak of Ms. Bourgois lately. Have the two of you been keep up relations?” 

The young boy blinked. A bit confused about his question Adrien responded, “Sort of? I just have been hanging out with my new friends a bit more lately. They don’t really...uh, get along too well.” 

The famous designer nodded, as if he expected the answer. “Hmm, perhaps for the best. That girl is horrid and bad for your public image. If you wish to still have the freedom you do now, I expect a level of decorum from you. Chloe Bourgeois puts that image into question, do you understand?”

Adriens eyes widened. “Of course, Father. Uh, may I go now?” 

Gabriel gave him a small smile, clearly giving the boy a parting. The teenaged model turned and headed towards his room with only a small backward glance at his father. 

Once the door closed behind him Gabriel gave a full on smirk. Oh yes, things weren’t quite the way he wanted but he can work with this. 

If he can’t akumatize her, he’ll just have to break her. Either way he’ll get his butterfly, and he’ll be that much closer to getting the wish he’s been striving for this whole time.

****************

Pollen decided to end their training session early. She just went through a couple of meditation techniques for Chloe to work on and the two headed back to Chloe’s room so she could clean up. 

Chloe was both physically and mentally tired. Too much was occurring and when she stepped into her room it was almost like everything was not real. Like, none of this could truly be happening. 

She walked without really seeing, and heading to take a shower with only a slight pat on the head to Pollen. 

Her father called for her via butler when she was going through her nightly routine of brushing her hair. With a sigh she placed the brush down and followed the butler to her fathers study. 

Dismissing the butler, she headed inside without a knock. She saw him, as usual, at his desk with papers in front of him, as he mulled over them and signed what was necessary. “Yes, daddy?” 

“Ah, there you are,” he smiled at her. She couldn’t help but smile a little back. It was always nice to see some sort of acknowledgment from him. “I’ve come to discuss this morning with you.” And there goes the good feeling. 

Chloe tolled her eyes, crossing her arms. _Oh, I’ve had enough with these annoying discussions today_. “What about it father? You already know how I feel about it.” 

He nodded. “Yes, but I need you to understand I want you protected. I can’t imagine getting another phone call about how close you are to danger.” He looked back down at his desk, going back to his work. _As if you’d actually answer the phone. I bet it’s just your assistant who always answers._

“And I do understand, but dad I really don’t think you’ll have to worry about that anymore?” She would really like him to drop this topic already.

“No, I don’t think you do, Chloe,” He chided her, not even bothering to look up. “Because it’s becoming more and more apparent that these attacks are picking up and that just the occasional security at events is not going to be enough.” He glanced at her briefly before continuing with his work. “The next bodyguard I hire, you will have no authority to fire.” 

She stomped her foot. She needed him to look at her. “Absolutely not! Dad! This is ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous! You can’t do this!” _Urgh! Why can’t anything just work out for once?_

“I can, and I will, Chloe. This is for your safety.” He stared her down, finally paying her more attention than those papers after her display. 

Chloe huffed and was slowly starting to panic. She could already feel her chest tighten. If she gets a bodyguard then there’s a very strong chance that she couldn’t escape their notice as often. That they’ll find out about Pollen- not to mention the reason why she’s wearing gloves more religiously now. She needed a loophole and she needed one now-

_Wait a second._

“Wait, for my safety?”

If she wasn’t so desperate she probably would have just let this. Especially with the way he gripped his pen and continued writing. Signs of tension in him were not a good sign. “Yes, Chloe. Your safety. That’s _why_ we’re going through with this.” She could tell by his clipped tone he was getting tired of talking about this. _Good. So am I._

“But getting a bodyguard won’t really protect me.” She continued. Putting her hands on her hip and her feet shoulder width apart, she assumed a power stance. She definitely needed the psych boost right now. 

“Just what are you going on about?” He sounded- and looked- exasperated. He dropped his pen on the desk, kind of looking like a toss, and just clasped his hands together on the surface. _That’s right. Look at me._

“Anything could happen when in put in dangerous situations.” She explained, her head tilted up. “What if we get separated- that bodyguard can’t protect me then!”

It really looked like he wanted to roll his eyes. “Then I’m going to need you to put it in your _best interest_ to never step away from your bodyguard.” That almost sounded like a threat. Nevertheless. She can not lose this argument. 

“But what about the press? Surely they’re bound to notice the increase in security? How would that make them feel? That their mayor has so little faith in the heroes of Paris that he’ll hire someone else to protect their daughter?” Chloe was confident now. She brought in the press. He always caved when it came to them. 

“I know it’s not the most ideal situation but I’m prepared to handle the press. What I’m not prepared for is getting a call from Sabrina’s dad saying that you got in a major accident.” He actually looked really earnest at that statement. _What?! Of all the times to suddenly be willing to take on the press, it’s for this?_ He wouldn’t even put her in a private school like all his other business partner’s children because it looked better publicity-wise to have her in a public system to show how much faith and support it had from him. 

She was actually kind of touched by that. It’s times like this where she sees that he does care about her welbeing- he does love her. His eyes stared at her for a bit before returning back to his paperwork, as if the conversation was over. 

She just wishes his attention lasted longer. That it didn’t feel so much like going through the motions.

But even though he’s saying he’ll deal with the press, she knows he’ll still take a route that would mitigate the backlash. 

She clear her throat, demanding his attention once again. “I have a different alternative. One that should please the both of us- and it’ll involve the least amount of the public’s attention.” 

He glanced up at her before returning to his work. Just when she was beginning to think he’s just going to dismiss her again, he rubs the bridge of his nose before asking, “Alright, go on. What do you propose?” 

“Get me trainers.” 

“What?”

“Yes, Daddy. The only way to make sure that I’m going to be okay if I get attacked by another akuma again is if I know myself what to do in those situations.” It’s literally the only option she’s going to accept at this point. _It’s a perfect solution. Well. Near perfect anyway. I’ll get trainers. Learn more about fighting and defending myself. No one would question the bruises because I’ll have an airtight alibi. And it would put Daddy’s obligational heart at ease._

“Let me make sure I’m understanding you correctly. You want me, to get you, trainers. Instead of bodyguards.” He looked so perplexed now. As to be expected. She literally cried one time when one of her nails broke. But that was circumstantial. It did hurt, and how could she fix it in time to meet with Adrien at his modeling shoot? She couldn’t, that’s the answer.

But her nail-crying days are over. 

Chloe nodded, shoulders back and head high. She was not backing down from this. “Yes. Think about it Daddy. You get me trainers in all the major fighting techniques from self-defense to martial arts and maybe even jujitsu, and I’ll be more effective at defending myself than any bodyguard.” 

The mayor shook his head. “I’m not sure Chloe. I just don’t think-“ _Oh, for the love of god!_

“Please! Daddy, I know you and I both never would have thought we would have to discuss this, but the fact of the matter is, is that there are super powerful beings suddenly using our home as their little playground. Yes, having a bodyguard may help, but not nearly as much as if I could fight for myself.” She took a breath and waited as he mulled it over. He still wasn’t completely sold. “And, this makes it much more private. Meaning the public won’t question you, there won’t be disgruntled security either from having to deal with me.” 

And there’s the bait. If there’s one thing Daddy hates to deal with more than the paparazzi, it’s complaints about his daughter. 

Her eyes weakly shone at the sight of him caving in. “Oh, I’m still not really liking the idea. I don’t like the idea of you having to go through that type of training.” He paused, debating. Finally he pointed a finger at her, face stern. “If I allow you to go through with this, I don’t want to hear any complaining. You will learn from the teachers, and you will not cry for one second that you got hurt or broke a nail.” _Yup, probably not going to live that one down._

She nodded, an eager smile on her face. “Yes! Oh thank you thank you daddy!” She raced around his desk, wrapping him in a big hug. “You won’t regret this I swear!”

He chuckled, squeezing her back. All traces of a stern father gone. “Alright, alright, now let your old man get back to work. I can’t promise tomorrow but be prepared to start as soon as possible, you understand?” 

She nodded, giving him one last big squeeze and a kiss on the cheek before heading out. He called out to her before she could truly leave. “Oh! But I’m still going to get you an assistant and that’s not negotiable. You’re going to be starting lycée here soon. And with all the extracurriculars you have going on- from helping me out at the galas, to these new lessons, you’re going to need an extra hand.” _Come on! Not this again!_

“Aww, but daddy, I’m perfectly capable of handling all those things on my own! Why is it now you want me to have an assistant? I’m only 15! I don’t need one!” 

“That won’t be true in a couple of months, and you’ll be responsible for a lot more than just showing up at the occasional election. I need you to start making more public appearances at the local charities and sponsor events. This assistant will help keep track of all those things such as party planning and your schedule so you don’t have to. I just want to make your life as easy as possible. Just humor me, okay?” He looked at her, almost pleading with her not to argue further. And honestly, she was done with arguing as well. Her hand was starting to really bother her. 

Chloe sighed. “Urgh, fine.” She only briefly looked away before giving him a small smile. “Love you dad.” 

He smiled back at her, relieved she was letting it go so easily. Well, as easy as he could have hoped. “Love you too, Chlo-bear.” 

Something close to affection swam in her eyes before Chloe turned away, closing the door quietly behind her. 


	5. Chapter 5

**No New Messages**

Honestly. What was she expecting? After seeing Sabrina walk off with that wannabe journalist and baker girl, she should have known better than to hope that Sabrina would reach out to her. 

Perhaps she should...?

Chloe scoffed, carelessly tossing the phone into her purse. No. Absolutely preposterous. She had much more important things to do- _like not dying_ \- than to chase after people who don’t want to come back. 

Forcing herself not to glance back at the device, she turned away. Besides, it’s been a couple days now since the fallout of when she was akumatized and even more since their actual argument. _I doubt she’d forgive me now._

“You were being truthful then, that you wake at such an early hour.” A sweet voice stated. Chloe smiled, as she often does when Pollen’s around. 

It was true that it was early. A little past five o’clock in the morning, and she was practically done getting ready for the day. “Well, of course, Pollen. I like having a bit of down time before heading off to that pubescent hellhole.” She stated idly, slipping on her black leather gloves. 

If one thing has occurred to her over these past three days is that she doesn’t own enough gloves too not be a fashion disaster. She absolutely refused to wear the same gloves so close together and at the supply she had she would be wearing the same pair with only one day in-between. Unacceptable. 

Perhaps a bit vain, but she was raised by a fashion icon and the mayor of Paris not to mention hotel owner. Presentation was everything in this family.

“The education must have changed since the last time I was active. From what I remember, girls would do anything to get an education.” Pollen commented, flying up to the young girl. “Surely that desire has not faded with time?” Chloe reached out, almost absentmindedly, to rub the Kwami’s head briefly before going back to checking her outfit.

She was doing something a bit different today. Instead of her usual white pants, she decided to go with some black designer jeans. The young girl had debated back and forth about what shirt to wear with it, but she decided on a nice dark maroon Marsala sweater. Cashmere, of course. Finishing the outfit was a pair of black heeled books. 

It was definitely of a darker color tone than she usually wears but she’s feeling spontaneous. Feeling restless. It’s getting harder and harder pretending that everything isn’t spinning out of control and for once she wants something to change because _she_ wants it to change. 

What better way to start than her style? 

“In these days, Pollen, education- especially public education- has become nothing but a joke.” Chloe muttered, grabbing her purse and making her way out of her walk in closet. She could hear Pollen buzzing behind her and knew she was following. “What people need is experience- not useless information that won’t get them anywhere they want to go.” 

She continued to make her way past her foyer and to her living area. She placed her purse on the couch and searched for the remote to her wall TV as Pollen spoke to her. 

“ Chloe, are you not the age of 15? Is that not too young to be thinking so poorly of education?” It’s amazing what tone can do to a question. Usually someone might have said that in a pretentious manner, or maybe even a patronizing one. But Pollen was merely curious. A soft inquiry- no strange inflections or meaningful pauses. 

So Chloe returned the respect given to her and did not snap back as she turned on the TV to search the security feeds. “It’s not that I don’t think education is important. It’s because of my age that I think this way. Dad thinks I’m old enough now to start learning more about politics and how everything works. One of those is how public school systems are run. Trust me when I say everything they say is just to look good. Ah!” She exclaimed in a self-satisfied manner. She had found what she was looking for. 

The video file to the Vanisher attack. 

She wanted to double check something. 

“Hey, Pollen, can you tell me a little bit more about this Miraculous? If we’re going to go out tonight I just want to make sure I know everything.” She said, as she rewound the tape to the beginning of the attack. Watching it run, she quickly fixed up her hair. She was thinking a half-up, half-down style today. It would do well to bring attention to the new hair comb without it being too obnoxious. “Like, do I always have to wear this hair comb to hear you? If I were to take it off during the night, wouldn’t you disappear?”

“It would be my pleasure, Chloe!” Pollen chittered excitedly. She perched herself on the back of the couch next to Chloe and watched her navigate the video with curiosity. All this new technology is so fascinating. “Well to answer your question about the comb, I would only disappear if you put the comb back in the box. And though I would advise you to not take it off at anytime time for safety measures, taking it off to go to sleep would not be an issue.” Chloe paid rapt attention to the Kwami, nodding to show she was listening. “Even keeping it in your pocket will be okay, but you have to be wearing it in order to transform. Oh! To transform you say, ‘Buzz On’. To get rid of the transformation you simply say, ‘Buzz Off’.” 

“Really?” Chloe kind of laughed a bit. “Isn’t that a bit...punny?” The video just hit where Chat Noir warned Ladybug in the nick of time as Vanisher- she shouldn’t really consider her to be Sabrina, should she?- almost got Ladybug’s earrings. “Is that the only way?”

Pollen reached out and lightly nudged the girl with her small hand. “It was decided on that long before you were born. The change needs a verbal command to be activated so you will have to put up with the punny phrase.” This was the part where Chloe left to change into her ladybug costume to go help the two. She almost shuddered remembering it. What a fool she was. She continued to watch.

“Alright, alright. I’m assuming I have my own version of Lucky Charm, then?” She asked, going along with the video as Ladybug used her signature move and materialized a bottle of glitter. 

Pollen nodded if a bit uneasily. “We have a move call Venom. It lets you completely immobilize someone.” 

“Ooh! That sounds interesting.” Chloe said excitedly, glancing at the little Kwami before turning back to the screen. “Sounds like it would definitely come in handy in a fight then.” Ladybug just threw her up against the wall, telling her not to get in the way. 

“It can, but generally speaking you will only have to use it in the worst case scenario.” Pollen scooted a bit closer to Chloe, leaning up against her shoulder. 

“Why is that? Ladybug and Chat Noir uses theirs, like every fight.” Chloe winced a bit at seeing herself trying to tell Ladybug where the akuma was. She continued to watch as Ladybug shut the elevator door on her. 

“Venom is very similar to their signature move. However, the Ladybug Miraculous is the power of creation and the Cat Miraculous is the power of destruction. They are the two most powerful miraculous’ in existence and compliment one another’s powers. We are still powerful but in a much different way. Venom’s effects are a bit more...lasting.” The Kwami commented, her little heart going out to Chloe as she witnessed what caused Chloe to become so hurt and betrayed. She nuzzled her head a bit more against Chloe in a show of comfort. 

Chloe was still confused. “But I still don’t really understand. Does venom need a longer recharge or something?” 

The Kwami shook her head. “Let me try to explain. Venom can only be used once during a transformation, as I would need to recharge afterwards. This is true for all Miraculous’s. Theoretically you can use it just as much as the other two active Miraculous holders. However, the Bee Miraculous is a bit different. Ladybug’s magic does not heal our wounds.” 

Chloe waited for her to continue, though her fists were still clenched. Ladybug just figured out that it was in the brooch like she said it was. “As in our wounds that we get, or the wounds we inflict on others?”

“In a way, both. Venom immobilizes your opponent, this is true. But it is a complete incapacitation. They can not move, whatever magic or ability they were using would be null and void. Only their mind will still wander and be able to move freely.” 

“How is that bad?” 

“Because it basically puts them in a coma-like state that not even Ladybug’s magic can bring them out of.” She paused right after Ladybug performed the Lucky Charm.

“What?” Chloe practically yelled. “How could Ladybug’s magic not work? I thought it fixed everything!” 

Pollen made a small frown. “Unfortunately not. The god of creation is very powerful, that is true, but even Tikki can only do so much. Our magic has always been based on the will power of others. While it may seem like an external attack, Venom is very much a mind trick. Ladybug’s magic will certainly help, and depending on the person, there shouldn’t be a major issue. It might take them awhile to come out of it but it can happen.”

“The person? It depends on the person? What are you saying?” She was anxious now. She needed to know because this sounded very important. 

“Think of it like Hawkmoth’s butterfly’s. They impose Hawkmoth’s will on the akumatized person. Normally no one has the will power to go against this mental takeover. The same goes with our Venom. Once you sting someone with Venom, it imposes a mental trick to force them not to move. To make them not want to move. To not do anything. If someone had your willpower,they could fight it and with Ladybug’s magic it should be enough to break it.” Pollen made a far away look. “But I was not lying when I said you were the first I ever heard to say no. To fight back.” 

“But if we can break Hawkmoth’s hold by purifying his butterfly, isn’t there something that we can do to get them back out of it as well?” 

“Sadly, no. The only way for Venom’s hold on someone to be broken is if our magic was completely deactivated.” Pollen explained. 

Desperation was kicking in. This so can not be happening. “Wait! Can’t I just put the Miraculous in the box and that would deactivate the magic right? Then, once they wake up, I can just open the box again and we can go back to normal!” 

Pollen chuckled but there wasn’t any real humor in it. “I wish it was so simple. To put it simply, from the moment you opened the box, I bonded with you. Just like the other Miraculous’s we are all intricately connect to our holders.” She tilted her head in thought. “Think of it like a protection measure. Humans are not meant to preform the actions that we can do so we give them a bit of our magic to bond with their body, mind, and soul so they have an easier time adjusting to the flow and feel of magic.”

Chloe was slightly horrified. “So you’re saying that since we’re connected in mind, body, and soul, that even though placing the comb back in the box would make you disappear I would still have a bit of magic?” Pollen nodded in confirmation. “Then the only way for all the magic to be gone would be if I...?” Pollen grimaced this time, clearly not happy with the thought. 

Oh god. This was a bit more than she expected. Though, honestly, it seems that _everything_ is a lot more than what she was expecting. She should probably stop having expectations at this point. 

The teenager looked away from Pollen, unable to handle the Kwami’s sad eyes. “So if we can’t forcibly break it like Hawkmoth’s, is there at least a time limit?” 

“Unfortunately no. It will last for however long it takes them to break the hold.”

Okay, yeah, _nope._ The power sounded cool earlier but not anymore. This was getting to be more than she could ever dream of. This little Kwami was saying that she had a power that could basically render someone paralyzed for the _rest of their lives._ Not only that, but completely aware of what was going on too, if she’s understanding correctly when Pollen says that their mind would still wander. She thought her biggest worry was her damn hand- not this! She vowed right then and there that she would never use it. The thought of doing so made her want to throw up.

“Did your other holders..uh, did they?” She’s not even sure what she’s asking but Pollen seemed to understand. That sad glint was there again. 

“The power over others can lead even the purest hearts down the wrong path. Due to this, I am a Miraculous that has not been awakened in a very long time. It can be too big of a risk in times of crisis.” Pollen stated, before looking at her with a smile. “This crisis took on a turn for the abnormal. An absolute lovely turn, as I have got to meet you.” Her holder had such a beautiful soul, Pollen thought as she looked upon her new Master. It’s been such a long time since she’s seen anything other than muted red in her holders. Chloe’s soft blue was calming to see and if made Pollen hope for the first time in a long time.

The blonde could practically melt with affection for the sweet Kwami. Her thoughts were still going a bit wild from all the information but she was happy that Pollen was sharing all of this with her. Glad she was patient with her. “Hey Pollen, earlier you said that we were still powerful in our own way. Is that why, even though Ladybug and Chat Noir have the two most powerful Miraculous’ this Hawkmoth guy is still giving them a run for their money?”

“A run for what?” Pollen blinked at her. What kind of absurd phrase was that? “Hawkmoth took their money?” Her nose scrunched up and Chloe was just so happy she looked over. 

Chloe laughed a bit. “No, no, sorry- that wasn’t- I.” She took a breath, still chuckling whenever she glanced back at Pollen. Pollen was just too cute. “A run for their money is just a phrase. It means he’s giving them a challenge. He’s making it challenging for Ladybug and Chat Noir to defeat him.”

“Oh!” Pollen said in understanding. “I see. Well, actually no- that’s still a weird phrase and I’m unsure of how it went from challenging to money, but we digress.” She took a little breath, her tuft of fur rising and falling. “ _Yes,_ depending on how each Miraculous is used, it does not necessarily matter how ‘powerful’ the Miraculous may be. It’s true power resides in the holder. A clever holder can either have the potential to be the greatest hero, or the greatest villain.” 

Chloe nodded, turning back to the TV. When she originally watched the video after coming back to her room, she wasn’t really paying attention to the cat. Now she was. And sure enough, he was asking why Ladybug didn’t listen to her. He didn’t even give Ladybug a fist bump! 

Huh. Maybe that mangy cat isn’t so bad. 

There wasn’t anything particularly interesting in the rest of the video. She panned to a couple of different cameras to watch the two walk out the hotel before running off to who knows where. 

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Pollen asked. The god of subjection could understand a bit better now why Chloe was so adamant about not working with the heroine. 

“Yes. It appears my first judgement of the cat was a bit too harsh. It’s hard to take him seriously when he keeps falling over Ladybug, but he’s considerably more open minded than his partner.” She huffed, scrolling curiously through the other video footage the hotel has. It’s always been a little curious pastime for her to watch the feeds when a particular guest would come or Daddy was hosting an important event and she needed to do a little people watching before mingling correctly with the crowds. 

“Oh! What’s my weapon? I’m assuming I get one, since Ladybug has her yo-yo and Chat Noir has his baton.” She exclaimed. She was actually really curious about this. It’d also be good to bring something else to the table if she can’t use Venom. 

“You have a spinning top.” 

Chloe choked on air. “W-what? A spinning top? My weapon, is a _spinning top?”_ She threw her hands up. “How on earth is that a weapon?!” _This is ridiculous! It’s a good thing I don’t necessarily want to work with those two- I’d be laughed out of it!_

Pollen flew slightly in front of her smiled at her. No, that’s not the right word. It looked more devious. Is that little bugger smirking at her? “It was the chosen weapon of choice of the previous holder.” 

Chloe put her hands together in prayer. “Please, please, _please_ tell me I can change it.” 

Pollen stuck up her head in a haughty manner. _Oh, she wants to play, does she? Fine. Bring it on._ “To do so would violate all manners of etiquette. A Miraculous holder’s weapon is beautiful and unique and has been the same since the time of the Egyptians.” 

Now she was on her knees. _Egyptians, huh? They must have worshiped her._ “Oh, great Pollen, please grant me this wish. I absolutely _refuse_ to wield something so gaudy as a children’s toy.” 

“Ha!” Pollen chuckled. “Says the girl who had a cosplay of Ladybug- complete with yo-yo accessory!” 

Chloe winced. She point a finger at the floating Kwami. “Touche, little god. But you’re diverting from the subject- can you _please_ let me change the weapon?” _Only for Pollen, will I say please._

The fluff ball had the audacity to tap her chin. If Chloe wasn’t so desperate for her to actual let her change the choice of weapon, she would have broken character and laughed. “I shall think about it.” 

“Pollen!”

The little Kwami burst into a fit of giggles. “Alright, alright, you can change the weapon. All holders have the ability to do so.” 

“Yes! Thanks, Pollen! I really appreciate it!” She reached out to her and Pollen happily snuggled into her hands as she gently hugged her to her chest. “I can change it to anything I want?” 

Pollen nodded, coming out of the hug to fly back her perch on the couch. “Of course! When you transform, the weapon will automatically appear. All you have to do is concentrate and it should change.” 

_Urgh, another catch?_ Chloe sat back on the couch and gave Pollen a look. “Should change? Is there something else?” 

“Well, while all holders have the ability to change their weapon it takes a superb level of focus and will to do so. It has only happened a few times. When you transform, I would suggest it is in a safe place where you can spend an indefinite amount of time to be able to concentrate with full focus.” Pollen instructed. 

The girl straighten her back at hearing that, a new resolve in her. “As if we have to worry about that! My willpower is practically unmatched. I’ll have that weapon changed if it’s the last thing I do.” Something occurred to her. “Though if I can change my weapon, why can’t I change the phrase too?”

Pollen definitely smirked now. “I like the phrase.” 

Chloe rolled her eyes and slightly, very gently, poked Pollen in the tummy. “Alright, I’ll accept it.” Pollen giggled again and Chloe smiled softly. 

“Hey, when you first were talking about this whole superpower thing, didn’t you say something about my senses? Can you go over those again?” Chloe was actually really enjoying their conversation and though she learned some pretty disturbing things, she knows she can do this. 

“It would be my pleasure, my Queen.” Pollen took a moment to collect her thoughts. “Basically, when you are transformed your senses will all drastically improve. You will have extreme agility, super strength, incredible reflexes, and your eyesight will also improve. What many holders don’t realize is that, these senses can be used outside the transformation as well.” 

Chloe’s eyes got wide. “Really? So I could leap from buildings like Ladybug even without transforming?” 

Pollen shook her head. “Not to that degree, for when you’re transformed the suit allows you to ignore human body limitations. When you’re not transformed you will be stronger but not anywhere near super human strength. More like, you’ll be able to beat your school’s top athlete in a sprint, but you won’t be able to leap over a semi-truck- that kind of thing.” 

“Okay, I think I’m understanding. So, I could lift this couch though right?” Pollen chuckled. 

“Perhaps you should give it a try?” There was something in her eye that she didn’t like but she got in position anyway. She bent her knees and thought of all the ways she’s seen other lift objects. 

She grunted and got it a centimeter it felt like off the ground but couldn’t get it any higher. _This thing’s heavy! What the fuck_! Her foot slipped and the couch fell with a loud thud. She landed face first on the seat cushion on her knees. She’s never been more glad that she doesn’t wear glasses. 

She could hear the little Kwami laughing. The little thing had fallen off her perch from laughing so hard. She held her stomach and was now doing slight rocking movements from her fit of giggles. 

“Oh, Chloe! Hehehe! It doesn’t take effect until after you transform!” She laughed some more. “And even then, it takes time and practice to hone your senses. Many holders don’t even bother with it, since they can just transform.” 

Her nose hurt as she rubbed it briefly. “You little-“ She made a motion to grab her but the Kwami just zipped away snickering the whole time. “That was mean!” 

“Maybe so.” Pollen made a soft smile at her. “But I felt like you needed a few more laughs.” 

Chloe looked at her for a few moments, a bit overwhelmed by the sudden change in tone. She coughed, trying to shake away whatever feeling that was bubbling up. She didn’t know what to say. Should she say thank you? No, that sounds awkward. She tried to say... _something,_ but every time the words just got stuck in her throat. So she just smiled at the little life saver to try and convey her appreciation. She really did need a distraction.

She turned back to the TV so she had something to do in their moment of silence. It was still cycling through all the footage she had from the past few akuma attacks that took place at the hotel. 

She winced when she saw the events of that cooking fiasco in the TV’s grid view. Now that was an embarrassing thing to remember. She even vividly remembers how hot that soup had gotten when she was dangling above it before Ladybug and Chat Noir saved her. Thank god that they got there so fast. Though...since the Kwami’s are technically gods, does that mean...? 

Chloe shook her head. She’ll save that thought process for another day. 

She passively watched the TV. Watching that cat trip over his paws trying to get Ladybug’s attention- even in the middle of a fight. “That cat really would do anything for that bug, huh Pollen?”

“I would say, based on that outfit I saw you wear earlier, that Chat Noir was not the only one who held Ladybug in high esteem.” Pollen joked with her, flying up to rest on her shoulder. 

Chloe laughed but couldn’t deny that the little Kwami was right. She _did_ have a really big hero worship to the spotted heroine. She watched passively at the screen- watching Ladybug save the day again. It didn’t hurt as much to look at her. Maybe there is a chance she could-

No. 

The Chloe on screen rushed towards Ladybug after the akuma was de-evilized. Throwing her arms around her, trying to get a selfie with the heroine. How could she have never noticed before? The way Ladybug would pull away, practically shoving her off her trying to get away from the politician’s daughter. And if that wasn’t enough to drop a hint, the way Ladybug’s mouth curled up a bit in annoyance should have. 

Chloe’s hand throbbed a bit aggressively as a wave of anger and frustration hit her. She quickly turned off the TV and threw the remote away from her, silently seething. She didn’t pay mind to her hand that was starting to pulse. It’s getting easier to ignore. 

“Chloe?” Pollen was concerned, that was clear. Chloe felt kind of terrible to have such a sudden change in mood but she really just needed to think. The Kwami touched her cheeked mildly but it did little to calm down Chloe down. 

“I’m fine, Pollen,” She gritted her teeth in a complete lie. But she just wasn’t sure what to say. “I’m just...” She waved her hand in a noncommittal wave. “Angry, I guess? Frustrated for sure.” Her breathing was getting faster. “I’ve spent so long worshiping that girl when it’s been apparently obvious to _everyone else_ how much she _did not_ like me. I’m just so-“ 

Embarrassed. 

Chloe Bourgeois was embarrassed. 

So humiliated in fact that she hated herself for it. Ignorance certainly was bliss, for how could she even make eye contact with her classmates after learning what she has? The Kwami on her shoulder seemed to sense the self-reflection going on and quietly waited for her new Miraculous holder to work through her thoughts. 

She was a fool. A stupid, vain, fool that didn’t know the concept of personal space. God, she knew she could be kind of a bitch, but never did it occur to her that she was a _stupid_ bitch. 

How could she be so good at reading other’s emotions, figuring out what will make another squirm and cave to her whim, but when it came to the heroine- all that knowledge just went out the window? And she would just follow after her, like a horny blind man, ignoring all the signs the spotted hero would give her if it just meant a few more seconds in her presence. A few more quickly taken selfies. 

If she didn’t already throw the remote, she would have done so now. Urgh! She chased after Ladybug just like-

_Oh my god._ Her eyes widened. 

Just like that mangy cat. Just like Adrien when he would go on his rants about Ladybug. 

She stood up quickly, completely forgetting about the Kwami on her shoulder. Pollen made a slight yelp and Chloe quickly apologized before her thoughts caught up with her again. 

It’s been there all along but she didn’t realize what those thoughts meant. All those times she would stare a little longer as Ladybug would walk away: she thought it was normal. Just another girl admiring the look of another. The times where she’d watch those muscles ripple when Ladybug would throw out her yo-yo and toss around those akumas, she didn’t bat an eye at her thoughts. Just appreciating the strength the girl exuded and curious to know how it would feel if she held _her_ in those arms. 

She started pacing her living room, walking up and down alongside the couch. This was almost too much to process for a weekday morning. 

The extra looks, the _lingering_ looks, oh goodness be, Chloe was going to pass out. Once again, she shows how much of an idiot she’s been that she couldn’t even figure out that she worshiped the hero so much because she had a gigantic- practically ginormous- crush on her! Another thought hit her, so clear and she almost fell down with how... _true..._ it felt to think: 

_I’m gay._

She almost smiled because now everything made _sense._ Why she would chase after Ladybug. Why she would never go after or agree to date those politicians’ sons that Daddy would always throw her way. Why, no matter how much she would try and get Adrien’s attention, the thought of actually _doing_ anything with him never went beyond kissing. And that was really only because she knew it was expected of her. What was expected of her as the Mayor’s daughter to do. Which was to go after another rich boy. 

Another thought hit her, but this one was much more terrifying. 

_Oh my god, Daddy’s going to kill me._

Her breathing was getting shorter, and it felt like she was seconds from legitimately sweating. Her father may not be around as much as she likes, but she still knows her father. Still knows how he responds whenever his sponsors and fellow government officials bring up the topic of homosexuals and their rights. Not recognized. 

She’s know how important it is to him that she found a nice boy to settle down with. How good it would look to the public. He’s been off her back for the most time because she’s been playing up her relationship with Adrien a bit more than what it is (which at this point, she’s kind of confused if they’re still even friends).

If he finds out that not only was she falsifying the relationship: but that she’s also a lesbian and therefore would never bring home a nice, preferably business-minded boy, worrying about the state of her hand might be the least of her concerns. Which just led her right back to thinking about why.

_Oh my god, I’m a lesbian!_

“Oh?” 

Of fuck. She said it out loud. What a fucking cliche. The now panicked girl turned quickly towards the flying Kwami hovering by the entryway. They blinked at each other, one with wide terrified eyes and the other in a slightly bemused sort of way. 

The Kwami took another bite of her croissant. 

“When did you get a pastry?” She asked quickly, trying to deflect the question without being too obvious. But she’s panicking and _everything’s_ too obvious now.

Did Pollen really just shrug her shoulders? “Oh, I felt that you needed some time alone to work out your thoughts. So I went to the kitchen to help myself to some breakfast.” She gestured behind her and sure enough there was a whole plate of croissants sitting on the table in her main hallway. She purely uses that tablet for decoration but hasn’t felt the need to do so in quite a while. Perhaps that should just be Pollen’s dining table from now on. 

How did she even get to the-oh, it doesn’t matter. Back to the situation at hand.

“I felt that you were on a path I could not help you cross, but I will say I’m not terribly surprised that it was this one, as I had suspicions. To realize one’s sexuality is something one must do for themselves.” She took another bite. “The hardest part can truly be just accepting the truth. I am proud of you Chloe, to not only come to the conclusion on your own but to also accept the answer you’ve found.” The Kwami beamed at the teenaged girl. 

Cause that’s what Chloe was doing, wasn’t it? All this time, she was just denying everything, not admitting to anything. Denying her actions for what they were. Denying her feelings and pushing away anything that she knew wouldn’t be accepted. And all that pushing away made her lash out like a toddler who didn’t know how to manage their emotions. 

She took a few deep breaths to recenter herself, hand over her heart. She shouldn’t be so harsh on herself. She had nothing to compare her thoughts to. She knew no one else that was gay. Couldn’t recognize her actions for what they were. Everything that she knew about being gay was just the bare minimum: that people of the same sexes like each other. She didn’t know how they figured it out- didn’t know how to recognize the signs.

Chloe didn’t have to worry about heading off for school for a bit so she had time. Didn’t have to worry about getting lost in thoughts. Didn’t have to worry about much of anything- she always had the time to spare in the morning, which is one of the reasons why she got up so early. 

Her thoughts usually weren’t so...mind opening, however. Was that due to the life changing event of having an akuma in her hand? Or was that because of Pollen and finally just having someone to talk to? Why were her thoughts so much easier to process- and that much harder to deny? And oh goodness, if Pollen keeps on looking at her with that soft glimmer in her eyes Chloe was going to cry. 

“You- uh, you really- “Chloe cleared her throat, trying to straighten up. “You don’t have a problem with, um, you know...with me...” She took a deep, deep breath and ignored the way her hand shook. “L-liking girls that way?” 

Pollen set the pastry down, and flew over to grab ahold of Chloe’s fidgeting hands. She held them gently, just like everything else she does. Always so gentle and patient. Her form was getting a bit blurry to Chloe but she could still see those big blue eyes smiling at her. 

“My Queen, there was never a problem to begin with.” 

Pollen watched, fascinated, as the blue hue grew a bit stronger.

*********

Pollen’s words echoed in her mind long after they had to leave for school. Long after the warning bell sounded and the looks died down. She paid attention to no one, just trapped in her own mind. 

She almost didn’t notice that Sabrina changed seats. Sitting in the back with Nathaniel. They had made eye contact briefly before Chloe sat down, but she wasn’t surprised to see Sabrina look down at the desk. 

She gripped the edge of her seat in slight frustration. Why are things this way? Why? Why, why, why did she have to be so angry all the time?

It was just her in the front now, and it reminded her greatly of Daddy’s gala’s. Surrounded by a crowd and seen by no one. 

Though maybe that’s not a fair comparison. Cause right now, she’s feeling all eyes on her. Like her sudden realization would be on a neon sign above her head, saying ”Newly Gay.” She even thought that she might look at others differently. Does that happen? But no. She still thought all these people were garbage. 

Especially whoever the _fuck_ had the nerve to talk about her behind her back so obviously. 

“Have you seen Chloe’s new look?” Whispers. Talking low to not be heard, but whoever was talking obviously doesn’t know the meaning of subtle. People were still arriving so there was other chatter in the air, but Chloe could still pick these voices out easily. She started fiddling with her pencil.

“Yeah, what a joke. She’s obviously crying for attention now that even her own best friend left her.” They better hope she doesn’t lose her composure or else they’re really going to regret ever saying something. 

Chloe tried very, _very_ hard not to break her pencil. Maybe holding something in her hands wasn’t a good idea. 

“It was bound to happen eventually. God, I would feel so bad for Sabrina. Chloe’s such a stuck-up bitch.” 

Now that’s a joke if she ever heard one! Sure she was a bitch, but Sabrina and her were friends and she treated her with gifts and material possessions. All of which Sabrina would constantly accept. Their friendship may not have been conventional but it was theirs. Yes, she regrets her actions now, but ugh! What doe these idiots know! 

“Tell me about it. That girl got what was coming to her.” 

Perhaps. She understood that she’s been pretty awful and that this might actually be her comeuppance: hand and all. Chloe absolutely refuses, however, to let that stop her. Oh, she already made the plan to back off. No need to decrease her already shorten life, but she has no plans to humiliate herself by apologizing for previous actions. No, these idiots should just consider themselves lucky she’s trying to control her emotions better. 

Mrs. Bustier called the class to order and another monotonous day of school truly began. Chloe paid the gossipers no mind and tried to focus on how that’s all they’ll ever be to her. Just idle peanut galleries that will never shut up. 

She could feel Pollen lean a bit more on her through the purse by her side and suddenly she was glad she didn’t turn around and rip into whoever said that. Pollen would probably have been a bit disappointed if she saw Chloe hurting another’s feeling, if they might have deserved it. 

They still should be glad that she doesn’t know who was talking. Chloe could only tell people were talking. She couldn’t distinguish who said it. 

But she will. Her eyes narrowed. She’ll have to pay more attention to them even though it disgusts her on a certain level to do so. She’ll take note of how they talk. Of their voices. Soon, she guesses, she’ll be able to distinguish them from a crowd no problem, especially if she can hone those senses Pollen was talking about. She just has to transform first. 

For now she’ll deal with school just like she always has. With contempt. 

“I don’t know guys, I feel kind of bad for her.” 

It was a break in the day when she heard it. Off to the side from where she was standing by the entrance to the school. She was sorely tempted to just ditch school and spend the rest of the day getting used to the feeling of working with Pollen, but she held off. Daddy had enough reasons to complain. 

When she heard the voice, she knew who it was and almost instinctively turned towards it. She stopped at the last second and just clenched her hands instead. _Why do I always expect a confrontation from her? Get a grip._

“Marinette, girl, what are you talking about? You feel bad for _Chloe_? The same one who makes your life hell? That Chloe?” She didn’t recognize this one and it bugged her greatly like she should know it.

Chloe did glance now. Marinette was with Ayla- _of course!_ \- and Nino was standing off to the side. She was surprised to see Sabrina not with them, but a glance over the courtyard showed that she was talking with Nathaniel. Weird. The trio were by the benches in the courtyard by the tree. Nino leaning against it as he watched the two girls converse. Marinette looked over her way and Chloe’s eyes quickly turned away. 

Fucking blue eyes. So full of concern and curiosity. Exactly what she didn’t need right now. She didn’t need anyone to look into her. To care. 

She patted her purse with probably an absurd amount of care. She only needed Pollen. Chloe pulled out her phone, so it looked like she had something to do. Though she was near the wall, she would never dare to lean against it so she settled for a more comfortable pose of leaning a bit more on one leg. The politician’s daughter randomly scrolled through her emails while she paid a bit more attention than she should on the group. She saw a message from her dad. _Oh, great. Looks like interviews for my assistant start this weekend. Fucking great._

“Yes, that Chloe.” Chloe could hear the ravenette sigh. “I don’t know, there’s just something... _off._ ” 

Curse Dupain-Cheng for being so perceptive! And too nice for her own good! She angrily typed at her phone. _No, no, don’t panic. The likelihood of this..curiosity of hers going further than this conversation is low. If she dares to say something to my face, I’ll just put her down like I always do._ She tried not to think about the thought of interacting with pig-tails sent a wave of anticipation through her. 

Anticipation of what?

Alya scoffed. “The only thing off is that girl’s attitude. Trust me, there’s no need to be worried. She’s just playing the pity card.” Nino laughed, but Chloe has a hunch that he’ll laugh at anything Alya would say. He’s being almost as blind as she was when she first had her crush. The two had just started dating. 

She wonders how differently one might act when they’re actually dating someone versus just liking one. 

Chloe could see Marinette shake her head through the corner of her eye. “I don’t think that’s it. Chloe hates pity. She’s not doing this for attention. In fact...” She trailed off, her tone of mild guessing. “I think she _doesn’t_ want attention. This new look she’s going for. It’s much...softer. More, what’s the word? Subdued?” Marinette groaned. “No, that’s not it. More, comfortable? Less uptight? Freeing? Urgh, what is the word I’m-“

“Okay, whoa, girl you need to chill.” Alya laughed, as she usually does when Marinette goes on a little tangent. Nino didn’t laugh but his lips curled up a bit. “Uh, should I be worried with how much you’re thinking about Chloe’s new look?” She gave the other girl a pointed look. 

Marinette blushed and looked away. “N-no! I still very much like Adrien. I was just curious is all!” _Always Adrien, then is it? Puh-lease,_ Chloe rolled her eyes. She gave up going through Emails and was now doing a mindless mobile game. _Dupain-Cheng doesn’t even know that Adrien is a closeted nerd. How can someone be ‘so in love’ and still not know anything about them?_

Chloe nearly dropped her phone. Or threw it to the ground. Urgh! She did it a- _fucking_ -gain! She can’t even say anymore that she’s better than Marinette Fucking Dupain-Cheng, when Chloe did the same thing by falling in love with Ladybug when she’s even more of an idol than Adrien! She didn’t even know Ladybug’s identity! Or hang out with her longer than two minutes, and yet had such a massive crush on her that it blinded her to everything around her.

Chloe needed a drink or something. She’s getting pretty sick of all these self-realizations. 

Alya continued talking to Marinette and Chloe could hear Nino laughing softly in the background. “Uh huh, okay, thanks for the clarification, Marinette. Glad to know you’re just curious. Wouldn’t do to be actually interested, now would it?”

Chloe glanced again, too curious now. The raventette looked so red now. She made a noise that was kind of an indignant but every attempt to say something ended in disaster. 

Now both Alya and Nino laughed. “Oh my god, Marinette, _relax.”_ The auburn haired girl was definitely having a bit of fun with her best bud. “I was just joking. Now, come on, let’s go get ready for the rest of the day. I don’t know about you but I’m so done with talking about Chloe.” 

Marinette chuckled too, if a bit uneasily, but Chloe caught her looking over at her one more time before the three walked away. 

Chloe stared at her screen blindly for awhile. Her game just told her she lost. _Yeah, no kidding._

She’ll have to make sure to avoid Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She _could not_ have her notice anything.

“Uh, Chloe?” A different voice brought her out of her thoughts and one she also immediately recognized. She looked up at Adrien with a conflicted expression. Should she be happy that he came to talk to her? Apprehensive? Worried? “I was just wondering if you’re okay.” Fear seems a bit appropriate right now.

She laughed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Ha! Okay? Why I’m great, Adrikins, so happy that you would ask.” She laughed again but she think she overdid it with the laughs for Adriens worried eyes stayed the same. 

He looked at her more intently. “I’m serious, Chloe.” 

She scoffed now. “Look, Adrien, I’m totally fine, okay? Just...a bit frazzled you could say.” She sniffed. God, what was that smell? Smelled like moldy cheese. Someone’s lunch must have soured. “Why do you ask anyway?” Curiosity overtook a bit of her fear of being found out.

He ran a hand through his hair. Such an obvious nervous habit to have. “My dad made this really weird request of me, and it just made me realize how little time we’ve been spending together lately.” Now a bit of anger. 

“That tends to happen when you keep putting others above me.” She dryly remarked, studying her nails like it didn’t bother her. Like it didn’t mean anything that the boy who’s practically like a brother to her slowly pulled away to hang out with that trio. 

Sadness. What a strange feeling- like pang in her chest. Or an ache.

He winced. “I didn’t mean it like that. And you know that! Please, Chloe, I’m sorry. I was just so excited to meet more people that didn’t care about my looks or my fame and just wanted to know _me._ ” His green eyes were pleading. “I’m still your best friend Chloe. I’ve been kind of absent lately, I readily admit that, but I’m here to fix that.” He pulled out some tickets and Chloe was curious to see it was the opera. 

She put a hand on her hip and stared at him, pretending to not be convinced. These were words she’s been hoping to hear for a while now. For him to come to her and just be looking at her. 

She thought that with the two of them going to the same school it’d be amazing. They would get paired to do those annoying projects she’s always hated. She’d show him around and help him integrate into a public place. She’d take care of him- keep all those fans out of his way that didn’t know boundaries. They’d call each other and complain about their homework or how much P.E. took a toll on them. They’d have funny and entertaining stories to tell their children about. About the good ole days.

All those fantasies she had went down the drain the moment Nino shook hands with him. And it hurt. So bad, to see him siding with the students that very obviously did not like her. And sure, she didn’t really like them either, and sure she kind of did this to herself but acting the way she did- but! That’s why she would have had Adrien. Adrien would have stuck by her and it would have meant way more than Sabrina’s blind loyalty. 

But he didn’t. He just...left. Casually, seamlessly, without thought, he just started to hang out with them more and she would find out about it on Adrien’s social media accounts. He really did hurt her. A few nice words isn’t going to change that. Perhaps it’s better to stay like this. 

She’s going to be way too busy anyway for friends anyway. She’ll have her training in the morning. School in the day. Saving Paris at night. Maybe in between figure out how to fix her hand without dying. Adrien being a part of her life again would only lead to more worries. More secrets.

With a new resolve, she steadied herself. She could do this. Even if her hand was slowly starting to feel on fire. She can do it. _For Adrien._

“Oh, so now you want to make amends? Because of a few words from your father? After you practically left me high and dry to go chasing after new friends like I didn’t matter? Why come back now? Why come back at all?” His eyes were wide, taken aback by her abrupt words. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. If you truly cared it wouldn’t have taken you nearly a month before figuring out how absent you’ve been. So no, I don’t care for your apologies or your fucking guilt. You can shove them up your ass, you know how much I hate empty words.” 

She flipped her hair again for good measure. She needed to get away now or else she’ll lose her composure. Everything was kind of spinning and her lungs hurt from trying not to hyperventilate. 

“Now if you’ll excuse me, classes will be starting again soon and I must not be late.” She hastily added, making a move to walk past him. 

“Wait, Chloe,-“ He started, reaching out to grab her hand to make her stay. 

The wrong hand. 

“Don’t!” She snatched her hand away before he could fully grip it without thinking. “Don’t touch me!” She clutched her hand in pain, the throbbing almost unbearable. They stared at each other with wide eyes. Her eyes darted around and thankfully there weren’t a lot of people still hanging about. Still there were a couple that looked over to see what the commotion was about.

God, god, she really needed to work on her pain tolerance as well. How can she remain incognito if people grabbing her hand is going to make her react this way? _Though,_ she bitterly thought, _with the way it is now, I doubt_ anyone _would hold my hand._ She straighten her shoulders. Pft. Whatever. Like she would want to hold any of these pleb’s hands anyway. 

“Just leave me alone, Adrien.” She gritted through her teeth, looking away. “I don’t need your pity.” _It’s better this way._ She should also work on her melodramatics. Probably tone that down so there’s not much of a scene or extra attention given to her words.

“Chloe, please,” Adrien tried again- why is he still trying?!- but she just quickly walked away forcing herself to not only not look back but to keep her hand still by her side. She’s shown enough. 

She made it all the way to the bathroom before breaking down. Thank god she had enough sense to make sure it was empty but the moment she realized she was alone she couldn’t help but cry out a bit. 

She was sorely tempted to take off the glove to see how bad it had gotten but it was too dangerous. She’ll just have to wait. For now she’ll calm down and then see how she feels to go back to class. She’s going to be late but it’d be better than nothing. 

She heard Pollen rummaging around in her purse before appearing with a tissue. She held it out to her. “Here, Chloe.”

“T-thanks.” She sniffled, blowing her nose harshly. She slumped against the wall and slid down to sit on the floor. Oh god, the disgrace. How disgusting she has become. If only her mother could see her now. She might actually even say something to her.

The Kwami floated closer. “Chloe,” her voice soft. If Chloe didn’t know better she’d think that was her only tone with how much she used it. “Why did you push him away? He wanted to be there for you.” 

She looked off to the side, the gaudy bathroom stall doors seemed to be judging her and she just wanted to light something on fire. See something else burn for once. “He’s better off without me. He left once. He’s bound to do it again.” 

Pollen came to rest on her shoulder, leaning her head on Chloe’s. Her antennae tickled Chloe’s cheek. “I felt no ill will from him. His heart was true.” 

Chloe was starting to think the pain in her hand would never go away. 

“Chloe, we’ve talked about this. Your hand is only going to get worse the more you harbor these negative feelings. Isolating yourself is not going to help you.” 

The young girl kept silent. Pollen made a soft sigh. 

“Please, at least think about his offer. He clearly cares about you. Even a Queen needs a support system. You can’t do everything on your own.” 

Chloe pulled up her knees and wrapped her arms around them, placing her head down. “It’s just so hard, Pollen. Before this I was okay with staying in denial. What did I care if I hurt their feelings? They’ll be gone soon enough and I wouldn’t have to see their faces ever again.” She wiped her nose again. “But now I’m suddenly supposed to be buddy-buddy with others just so I don’t feel like killing myself faster than this akuma will?” She scoffed. “Yeah, sounds like a great plan. Even if I wanted to, no one would befriend me.” 

Pollen’s eyes widen, considerably worried. Yes, her Miraculous holder held a lot of potential. More potential than she has seen in a long, long time. But this self-doubt? This self-hatred she can clearly hear in the teenager’s tone? It’s scaring her a bit. 

“Chloe Bourgeois.” She stated, the tone befitting of a god. Stern and demanding anyone’s utmost attention. Chloe blinked blearily at her from her position, unable to deny the need to respond to her name. “I need you to listen, and I need you to listen right now.” She flew and landed right on her arms so Chloe had nowhere else but to look at the Kwami. 

“You are an extremely remarkable young girl. You are brave, incredible, smart, but most of all you are capable of so much more than what you think you are.” She placed her little hands on tops of Chloe’s cheeks and looked up at her with big blue eyes that held so much wisdom and knowledge. “In all my years which I can not number, you are truly a one-of-a-kind. There is no one else I would rather have as my new master.”

She wiped away some of Chloe’s tears that were falling as she continued. “We can do so much together, Chloe Bourgeois. But only when you let go of that self-deprecation. You have _nothing_ to be ashamed for. Not for the way you talk, who you like, or for what’s going on. Your life has not been easy and it has shaped you into what you are today. You can rise above these preconceptions people have given you. You just need to be willing to try.” 

Chloe sniffled some more, a bit overwhelmed. She listened intently to every word Pollen said and it hurt to hear her say that her self-deprecation could hold them back. She didn’t want to be the cause of their failure. That almost got her back in that vicious cycle of self-hate before she forced herself not to think like that. 

Focus on something else. Focus on what she said. She needed to be willing to try, huh? 

“You think anyone will want to be my friend? After the way I treated them?” She wearily asked, blowing her nose one more time. It was a bit awkward as she crammed her head to the side so she doesn’t get any of her nasty germs near Pollen. 

The god of subjection made a small smile. “I know at least one who wants to.” 

She nodded, and got up. Patting her self down, she immediately threw away her tissue and washed her hands. She didn’t even want to consider how much dirt and bacteria were on her hands at that moment. Fixing her makeup real quick she set her hands on her hips in the mirror, settling into her familiar power pose. She needed a bit of a boost right now. 

“I don’t know if he’ll accept it now after the way I acted.” She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “But you’re right. I do need to stop thinking so badly of myself. I’m not confident I can do it right away, and I’m definitely not going to be asking to be someone’s friend. But-“ She held up her head higher, her signature smirk forming. “I’m going to be better than what I was. To be the Miraculous holder you can be proud of Pollen.” 

Pollen nudged her cheek. “I’m already proud of you, Chloe. I just want you to be proud of yourself.” 

Her smirk wavered. “What?” 

Pollen just smiled sweetly at her, and did something shocking. She bopped Chloe’s nose. “Come along now, Chloe. It’s time for class.” 

Remembering where she was, she nodded, shaking off her thoughts. She’s got this. She may not be ready to actively reach out, but she knows she can also not actively react to others. Marinette is right. She doesn’t want attention and suddenly having a change of heart would be cause for alarm. 

She needs to be subtle. 

Urgh. Yelling at Adrien and running away to go hide in a bathroom was _not_ subtle, but oh well. She’ll make do. Time to finish this school day with minimum casualties. 

******

Why is it, whenever she’s trying to _not_ be mean, her patience is tested like never before? 

When she arrived back in class it was clear that word got around that had a confrontation with Adrien. Eyes were staring at her as she walked in. Sure, she didn’t let it avert her eyes or lower her head, but she wanted to snap back at them very much so to stop looking at her like she kicked their puppy. 

She set her textbook down with a grace she knew none of them except Adrien had. She may not have someone else to carry them, but she’ll be damn if they think she cared about what they thought. Also, since she forgot to bring her textbook for the begging of classes, she should try to have it for the second half.

Marinette was the only one she singled out to be non aggressive. Which is surprising, considering that everytime Adrien gets involves she becomes that much more defensive and protective. Her face didn’t show any anger, though there was that curiosity again. Urgh. Why the fuck is the baker girl curious? She should get a fucking life- and a hold of that stupid stutter so she could actually grow a pair and confess to Adrien. Maybe then she’ll leave her alone. 

Urgh. Why is she even _thinking_ about that? It’s official. She’s lost her mind. 

Adrien tried to catch her eye, but she paid him no mind as she sat at her desk for one. Not now. She’s still a little high strung right now and her hand has only recently stopped throbbing. She just needs a _break._

The science and math teacher started class as everyone settled down. Ms. Mendeleiev wrote, “ _End of Year Project”_ on the board before turning to the class. “This year is going to be a bit different. Usually you would have a simple exam, and while you’ll still have a test, a majority of your final exam grade will be a project of your choosing.” The teacher wrinkled her nose like the thought displeased her. “It would have to be approved by me, and has to be related to something we’ve done in class. It will consist of a presentation and a written report detailing what you did.” 

Chloe just stared out the window. What did she care? A morbid thought crossed her mind: _What’s the point in the stupid project if I might not even be around to present it?_

But isn’t that a more depressing thought? If that’s truly the case, then what’s the fucking point of anything? She should just drop out now and spend the rest of her days just being with Pollen. At least then it’d be fun. 

She watched the clouds go by. As much as that sounded like fun, she doubts Pollen would let her. She would want her to actually _try_ and live her life like it wasn’t collapsing. 

The class was clearly not fully on board with the project, but honestly it did sound a lot more time consuming than a one time test. Especially when they would still have to take the test. Sounds like a terrible deal. But at least they do have the rest of the year to finish it. 

Someone complained, “This sounds like way too much, Ms. Mendeleiev!” Another agreed. 

“Yeah! How are we supposed to do a whole science project by ourselves!” Soon the whole class was giving out arguments on why it was too much. The length of the report. The amount of data needed. The level of quality. The presentation. Oh? Did she mention that it was supposed to be presented in front of a committee? The fuck are they? Undergraduates? 

Chloe does have to admit that some of these requirements seem a bit ridiculous for their age level but whatever. She’ll just do a bit at a time. She’s sure Pollen wouldn’t mind helping her keep track of everything. 

It really should have been the end of things when Ms. Mendeleiev finished saying the due date, and gave out the rubric and information about the project. It really should have. But then Kim had to start a practical riot and then, to Chloe’s immense surprise, Ms. Mendeleiev also looked surprised and a bit confused like she forgot something.

“Oh? Did I forget to mention? Since this is the first time we’ll be doing this, the other science teachers and I have decided that this will be a group project-“ 

_“Damn it!”_

Everyone turned to stare with wide eyed at the young girl in the front row who just knocked over her textbook to the ground. 

Ms. Mendeleiev was not amused. “Ms. Bourgeois, explain yourself!”

Chloe didn’t look at anyone, and didn’t say anything as she merely went to the side of the desk closer to the window to pick up the fallen textbook. She wiped her textbook down like she actually cared about it and merely gave the teacher a sparing glance before turning back to stare out the window. 

“Broke a nail.” 

The class snickered but Chloe knew they weren’t laugh because she made a joke. They were laughing because she was the joke. 

Chloe leaned her head on her palm and tried to focus on anything except how it made her feel to suddenly understand _why_ she would get so defensive. She was embarrassed and wanted to lash out and make them feel just as uncomfortable as her. 

Pollen nudged her side again through the purse and it helped to clear her mind a bit more. She got a warning glare from Ms. Mendeleiev, but class continued on and everyone started paying attention to the partners she was giving out. Because if this was going to be a group project, the teacher doesn’t trust the class to pick their partners wisely. Though with how often she glanced at Chloe, maybe the teacher just thought that no one would pick her and wanted it to be fait. 

Or maybe she’s just being sensitive. 

Marinette narrowed her eyes at Chloe when the class started to laugh after the Bourgeois made that loud outburst. She claimed it was because she broke a nail but Marinette was close enough to see that couldn’t be true. They all looked fine to her, and even if she did, wouldn’t Chloe be making a bigger fuss? She merely yelled and then went back to staring off into space like she couldn’t be bothered. 

And since when did she curse? And wear gloves? She’s always trying to show off how much better her manicure is. So why is she suddenly wearing gloves all the time? Did she try to do it herself and it turned out wrong or something?

Nothing Chloe has been doing since Sabrina got akumatized was making any sort of sense. From her quieter nature- almost, she still snapped when approached- and her less antagonizing attitude. They haven’t even had a confrontation in almost four days! That’s a new record!

She should feel relieved just like Alya. Finally, Chloe was showing a bit more maturity in managing her emotions. But something didn’t feel right. 

Looking at her info paper with a bit of apprehension, she hopes she can figure out what’s going wrong sooner rather than later. Marinette knew that if she approached Chloe right now, she wouldn’t be able to get anything out of her. 

But maybe Ladybug can. 

Adrien was having a similar realization. Something was clearly wrong with his childhood friend. It hurt to realize that she was right. He was guilty. He wasn’t spending as much time with her anymore and he feels terrible that it took a few words from his father to make him realize that. 

He still has no idea why his father would even suggest that he stay away from Chloe. It’s just so like him to try and limit his contact with his friends! And uncalled for, as he’s starting to realize that Chloe needs a friend now more than ever. He’ll fix this. And if he can’t, then he knows that she might be more receptive to a different approach. A more, _kitten-friendly_ approach. 

“Now, I’ve already written your partner’s name on your information sheet. These will not be changed so don’t bother trying to get out of them. With that out of the way let’s start with the actual lesson, shall we?” 

Chloe didn’t bother looking at the sheet. Anyone paired with her will hate every second they’re working together so she’ll save that headache for tomorrow. Actually, it’s Friday. She’ll wait ‘till Monday. That should be plenty of time to refortify her defenses. 

Finally, _finally_ school was over and Chloe could head towards home to relax for a bit before trying to change her fucking spinning top to an actual legitimate weapon. She figured once that’s done, then she’ll head out. She still needed to think about what weapon wanted though. 

A sword? A rapier? Maybe a bo staff, kind of like Chat’s baton? Or maybe she'll just throw caution to the wind and use a giant sledgehammer.

Either way, she was feeling more of an up close and personal weapon instead of long distance. 

After all this, she wants to hit something. 

“Chloe! Wait up!” She was halfway down the steps to the entrance of the school when he called out to her. It was Adrien. Because who else had a heart of gold that would try so hard for someone who doesn’t deserve it? _But why can she not have just one moment alone?_

She really should stop those kinds of thoughts. It used to be so easy to ignore them- to think about a pretty purse, or relish in the feeling of being better than everyone else. But that rug was pulled out from under her and she’s falling, grasping at any straws that will hold her up long enough to plant her feet. 

She grimaced as he came running up to her. These thoughts- how can she get rid of them? She needs a new distraction. 

Chloe had stopped when she heard him, and turned halfway to him, ready to bolt at any second. She gave a command for her driver by the street to wait for her. This might take a minute.

She could see the others behind him watching curiously if a bit apprenhiively like she’s about to go off on Adrien. It made her even more agitated to have a spectator audience. God, don’t they have something better to do?

“What is it, Adrien?” She wonders when she stopped calling him by his pet name. 

Adrien looked so sad but also earnest as he stared at her. “You asked me earlier, why come back? I came back for my best friend.” He took a deep breath. “I am _so_ sorry, Chloe,” His eyes were gleaming. “I’m sorry that there was _any_ doubt that I did not want you as my friend. You were there for me when there was no one else. When I broke my nose learning how to ride a bike, I was so worried that I wouldn’t model anymore. Dad was flipping out but you gave me pamphlets for all sorts of different careers saying that not everyone can be pretty like you but there’s still plenty of respectable jobs.”

She gave a dry chuckle when he recalled that long ago memory. They certainly gave their respective parents a lot of grief. From sneaking around, eating junk food, and pranking party guests, their time together really was the only highlight of her childhood. Adrien’s lips twerked up at her small laugh, as he gave a hopeful smile. 

“Chloe, you are right. I am guilty. Guilty of being a terrible friend,” Adrien continued. “But I miss our time together. I miss those moments we made together. I know we’re growing up, and we’ll have different interests, but I want to be there for you, just like you always were for me.” Green eyes, so honest. Everything he’s saying, he meant, and it’s honestly making Chloe feel terrible for how she treated him earlier that day. 

Was she crying? No, it must be dirt flying into her eyes that are making them so teary. 

He dug through his pants pockets, pulling out the tickets from earlier. “If you’re up for it, want to come with me to see the opera? I know how much you enjoy the tragedies as well as the music. Afterwards I was thinking we could go get some ice cream or something.” He held one out for her in invitation. 

She couldn’t help but glance at the peanut gallery on the top of the steps who still haven’t bothered to move. Césaire had her arms crossed, giving her a stern look like she was daring Chloe to say something rude again to Adrien. Nino looked kind of passive but a bit nervous like he was expecting an outburst at any moment. Her eyes however strayed to Marinette before she could help it. 

Part of her thought the girl would be upset. Seeing Chloe talking to Adrien, with him obviously trying to invite her somewhere. To anyone looking, it kind of looks like he’s asking her out, and Chloe knows the three are too far away to hear anything and paired with Marinette’s habit of overreacting with Adrien, she would have thought she’d be panicking right now. Worrying her lip, looking angry that Chloe was ‘forcing’ herself onto Adrien. 

But she wasn’t. Why wasn’t she? She was just watching, with those ever curious eyes and Chloe’s really losing her mind. Since when did Marinette wonder so much about her? She preferred her fiery attitude, with her cheeks flushed in anger, and her blue eyes flashing over this quiet, contemplating demeanor. It was annoying and if it goes any further, Chloe’ll be hard press not to react badly. 

Chloe turned back to Adrien. He was still giving her that hopeful smile and she knew he meant every word he said. She just...she just needs a bit of peace. 

She reached tentatively to take the ticket, watching as Adrien smiled brighter. It made her smile slightly back at him too. She checked the date on the Opera. _Oh no. It’s for this weekend._

Chloe grimaced. She handed the ticket back to him. “I’m sorry, Adrien. I’m going to be busy at that time. Daddy’s making me get an assistant and I absolutely must be there or else he’s going to get someone completely incompetent.” 

“Oh.” He looked down before perking up. “But we can still go get ice cream, right? Or maybe I can come over and we can binge watch trash TV?” 

A weary smile. “Of course. Perhaps this Sunday? We can catch up then.” 

(Un)Surprisingly, Adrien pulled her into a hug, catching her off balance a little. “I can’t wait! It’s going to be a lot of fun! I’ll bring the snacks.” 

She rolled her eyes now, a bit fondly. “Adrien, I live in a hotel. There’s no need to bring anything.” 

Adrien shook his head adamantly. “Nope. I’m bringing the snacks. And movies! Besides, you really should try these popcorn bags. Nino introduced them to me and it’s amazing!”

Chloe choked a bit, grabbing her chest in a playful manner. “Commoner food, Adrien. Really? Those three are a bad influence on you.”

He nudged her should, teeth showing now in his smile. “Nah, just you wait. I’ll show you what we’ve been missing.” He looked down at his tickets. “It’s a shame you can’t make it though, I thought we could enjoy it together. It had great reviews.” 

God, kill her. Please, just strike her down now for ever letting this absurd thought cross her mind. 

“You could still go, you know.” Chloe encourage and if anyone said her voice was tight she’d smack them down. 

His blonde hair had no right to be that wavy. It seemed to bounce effortlessly as he shook his head. “It wouldn’t be the same.” 

“Just take someone to go with you.” Yes. Death would be great right about now. 

“I just don’t really know anybody that would like to see these kinds of things with me besides you. They generally like movies.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Oh well, I’m sure we’ll see an opera at another time.” 

God, why is he so oblivious? Is it boys in general or just him? Why does she actually have to _say_ it?

“You could take that Dupain-Cheng girl with you.” There she said it. She did a nice thing. Mother strike her down please. 

His eyes widened. “Really? You’d think she’d go with me?” He glanced back up at Marinette who blinked in surprise and awkwardly waved back. The problem was, was that the girl wasn’t expecting it and in her haste to wave, dropped her books. Alya shook her head in exasperation at her disastrous friend’s actions, kneeling down to help her, as Nino was seen laughing. “It just didn’t seem like something she’d go to.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Trust me,” She gritted her teeth and tried to not wonder why it irritated her to see Marinette blush and not because Chloe made her angry. “She’d go with you.” She wanted to throw up. "I heard she's been dying to try out Andre's ice cream too."

He smiled again. “I’ll ask her later, then. Thanks for the suggestion, Chloe. I was always curious to see the two of you go at each other, but I’m glad you’re getting over your differences.” 

She grimaced, looking away now. “I wouldn’t say that exactly,” She started. “And you better not tell her I told you to ask her.” That would not only ruin her reputation but make Marinette that much more suspicious about what she’s doing.

He hugged her again, too excited now. “Oh! This is great! Soon we should all get together! Once they get to know you, I’m sure they’ll see the Chloe that I always knew.” 

It really was like he didn’t see any true flaws in her. Perhaps...perhaps that’s just the kind of encouragement she needs. Pollen will be pleased to see her trying. The thought of the Kwami’s proud smile was enough to go through with this. 

Even if the thought of hanging out with the other three as well put her on edge. Especially if it means spending more time around pig-tails. 

“Get off me, lover boy.” She joked a bit, gentling pushing him away. She dusted herself off, “You’re gonna wrinkle my clothes.” He rolled his eyes, a smile still on his face. “Now, I got to head back to the hotel but I look forward to Sunday.” 

He nodded and wished her a good day. She saw him turn to go back to the others and she briefly made eye contact with the baker’s daughter. Nope. Not going to think about why she did that. No sir. 

She headed down the steps away from them to the car patiently waiting for him. As they started to pull out, she saw Marinette’s eyes widen as Adrien talked to her and the ticket in her hands. The girl nodded up and down as the other two looked on with cheerful eyes, even when Alya had to step in for a bit to make sure the love-struck girl didn’t drop her books again. 

She humphed. That budding fashion designer better be happy for this opportunity. Adrien was her safety net. Daddy was sure to get suspicious sooner or later about how the two of them aren’t dating yet. However, she estimates she has about three more years before Daddy starts to really twist her arm about dating someone of status to boost their name. 

As for her being gay. Well, she just figured it out today even if she logically knows she’s always been. She certainly doesn’t have any suitors lining up at her door, so for the moment there is no need to bring it up. Why kick the hornet’s nest when everything’s fine now? 

Okay, so everything’s not really fine, but it’s going to get much worse when Daddy finds out. She’ll hold it off for as long as possible. She’ll probably just say it to him when she reveals what’s happening with her hand. Two birds with one stone. 

They arrived swiftly at the hotel and she by passed all the hotel goers. Her butler smiled at her, one which she managed to barely return as she stepped into the elevator to go up to her suite. Living in a hotel does have its perks but she really wishes she had her own private elevator. That would make things so much easier. 

And as much as she wanted to go out right away, she knew she had to finish all the work assigned that day. Sabrina wasn’t around to do it anymore. While Chloe was never one to do things herself, Daddy would still kill her if she wasn’t top of her class. After all, public school is nowhere near as prestigious as a private school. 

Even though he placed her in this stupid school to look good to the public, it wouldn’t look good if his daughter was not properly educated. His colleagues and coworkers always looked down on her because she wasn’t going to an elite school, so it was a necessity to at least have the title of valedictorian on her resume or have other glowing remarks. 

Sabrina doing homework for her was because she had too much else to do than bothersome work. Her father even approved of it. She hasn’t brought up the fact that she lost her one friend that was willing to do so, but doing to the work herself hasn’t interfered with anything yet, so she figures she’s safe for a bit. 

Urgh. When did she become so secretive towards her dad? She grimaced. Probably around the same time she realized all she will ever be to him is a way to expand the business. Many think she’s just the mayor’s daughter, which is true, but her classmates seem to forget that her family also owns a world renowned hotel company. With multiple hotels around Europe and one getting ready to open in New York where Mother works from, the brand is only growing. 

Being the only daughter to a multi-billion dollar hotel company has many perks, but there’s so much pressure on just simply going out that can be so mentally and physically exhausting. Always being presentable. Always being on time. Always being knowledge of the current times. Always being perfect. It can be way too much at times. So many times she has wanted to stay home and wear those sweatpants that look so comfy instead of dressing up to go out with her father. She never could though. 

Missing one of Daddy’s functions was not an option allowed to her. 

It’s fine. She shouldn’t complain. Nothing would be done from it thought so she’ll hold off for now. She looked around her room for a place to do her room. “Urgh, Pollen, remind me to tell the butler to order a desk. I absolutely can not believe I’ve overlooked this important piece of furniture.” Actually she totally can as she never had to worry about work .

Pollen giggled. “I’ll remind you in the morning before he arrives. Maybe if you pull up one of those single couch chairs to the table in the main foyer, you can do your work that way.”

Chloe grimaced, but nodded. “That’s probably the best that’s going to happen. Can you believe that I have to do a group project? Me!” 

Chloe grunted and groaned, trying to pull the chair from the living room to the table. Pollen fluttered about above her, obviously amused by the scene. “I think this will be good for you. Learning to work better with others is an important character trait.”

She finally managed to make it all the way. She sat down and started pulling out all her work and a few pens that she stuffed in her bag. She really only wanted to check one thing. “Yes, well, that’s all well and dandy but some of my classmates are complete idiots and working with them will only surely bring my grade down.” 

Pollen landed on the table, sitting down as she watched Chloe organize her papers. Doesn’t seem like that many, but Chloe stopped when she found the project information sheet. “Do not judge your partner before you even know who they are. They might actually be really smart!” Pollen encouraged while Chloe’s face slowly drained of color. “Chloe?” 

**_Marinette Dupain-Cheng_ **

It was official. Completely, utterly, undeniably official. The cosmos, or something up there, hated her and wanted her to die. 

“Pollen!” She screeched, throwing the paper down and pacing along the balcony door’s. “This is ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous! How can Ms. Mendeleiev expect me to work with that- that,” She could find the right word so she just threw her hands up and screamed a bit. 

Pollen had the nerve to laugh. “Oh, Chloe, this won’t be so bad. This might actually be for the best!”

“The best?!” She was panicking now, that’s what it felt like. “How can it be for the best? She hates me!” She thought for a moment. “They all hate me actually- but she hates me the most! How is this going ever going to go work out well?” 

Pollen starting flying with Chloe as she paced, turning when she does. “Well, just think about it Chloe. Has she ever actually said she hates you?” 

“Well, no, but-“ 

“Has she ever gone out of her way to hurt you? To belittle you?” 

She thought for any situation where that occurred and she became a bit more frustrated when she couldn’t. “No.” 

Pollen smiled then. “Then there’s no need to worry! As long as you do your part of the project, I have no doubt she will do hers. Let’s just finish the rest of your work. We can worry about all the other stuff later. You want to try out transforming tonight?” 

Chloe huffed, knowing Pollen’s got her there. She’d rather transform than talk about why she’s so apprehensive about working with Marinette anyway. She sat back down and got to work. 

When the sun began to set she smiled at Pollen who always leaves the confines of the purse when they were alone. “You ready, my Queen?” Pollen picked up on the change of activities.

She thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Yes, I believe it’s time. Don’t you?” She put away her homework, glad to be done with it. 

Pollen nodded. “You know the words. Ready whenever you are.” There was that twinkle in her eye again. “I think you will have a lot of fun as the Bee Miraculous holder.” 

Chloe smirked. “Me too.” She took one last deep breath. 

_“Pollen, buzz on!”_

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys! It's finally time for Chloe's first transformation. We're going to have a bit more fun. Sorry for the two week wait and for any mistakes, but I hope you all enjoyed the chapter either way! Stay safe!

**Author's Note:**

> HI! Thank you for reading! Hope you liked it, and if you have any feedback, please feel free to share. This is my first time publishing my writing but I hope I at least entertained you for the X amount of minutes it took to read. Have a good one!


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